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Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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NIVO's avatar

Great minds…

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 08:47 PM ET

smell like burnt copper? lol

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 09:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

FUCH!  FIRE BABCOCK!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!.

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 09:48 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Hawks Win
Pens Win

BLues up by 2 this night just keeps getting better and better

Posted by pgoody on 01/19/13 at 09:48 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Easy now. This is just a meaningless exhibition game. Wait…..WHAT??

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

I’m not sure if I could’ve envisioned them playing this badly even in my worst expectations.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/19/13 at 09:49 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

You owe me some coke.

I’m on more of a bath salts budget.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:49 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Aren’t we about due for a bad 22 penalty?

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:50 PM ET

Avatar

Weak call after letting Clearly get interfered with twice on the way down the ice.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I’m not sure if I could’ve envisioned them playing this badly even in my worst expectations.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/19/13 at 08:49 PM ET

See WestWing post at 8:40 PM.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Stupid fuching play Cleary.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Sorry, 1/2 that.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Wow, all this and we have the annual February slump to look forward too.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I’m not sure if I could’ve envisioned them playing this badly even in my worst expectations.

We’re gonna have a helluva competition to see who can be the most cynical bastard this season.  Okie Jeff, feel free to chime in here.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 09:51 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

SOG

STL 17
DET 2

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:52 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I’m not sure if I could’ve envisioned them playing this badly even in my worst expectations.

Clearly, you need some new expectations.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 01/19/13 at 09:52 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nice PK boys

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:53 PM ET

calquake's avatar

We’re gonna have a helluva competition to see who can be the most cynical bastard this season.  Okie Jeff, feel free to chime in here.

It’s probably me ‘cause the Red Wings are great!  But sometimes they really suck.  Oh, wait… I thought you said “cyclical bastard”, my bad.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:54 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:51 PM ET

I’ve been spouting doom and gloom since the lockout ended.

Our blueline is obscene.

Jimmay is going to get carried out on a stretcher in one of these games - - maybe this one.

U.G.L.Y.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:54 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

...

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:55 PM ET

Avatar

Now interference is called though….nice

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/19/13 at 09:55 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Where’s my face palm? I left it here somewhere.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 01/19/13 at 09:55 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Bullshit penalty.  I’m tired of seeing forwards get rewarded for diving over defensemen like that.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Now interference is called though….nice

You gotta admit, it WAS a high-quality dive.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Really, really ugly.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

That was butt-ugly.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

//sigh// ... i miss nick

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

TEMO's avatar

That was ugly

Posted by TEMO from LANSING, MICHIGAN, U.S.A. on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Can Renney and Babcock switch seats… just for a few games…. just to see what happens?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:56 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Ok.  I feel better now.  I had a good scream.

Nowhere to go but up, right?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

That looked like a completely lost team… a team without an identity.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Well, fuch a doodle doo.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Chet's avatar

cleary, specifically, looks like SHEEEEIT.

Posted by Chet from twitter: thegansen on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

I TOLD YOU GUYS WE DIDNT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT OUR D!!!!

Now I’ll go cry in the corner until the second period…

Posted by Zqto on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Murph wearing swimming goggles.

Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Keating with a nominee for understatement of the year.

“Defensive breakdowns a big part of that. . . “

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:58 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

//sigh// ... i miss nick

I do too, but what does it have to do with this game? Wings played the same way they’re playing for the last three years, at least.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 09:58 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

I like darin eliot?

Posted by pgoody on 01/19/13 at 09:58 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Shots 17-2 against.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:58 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

got a fauxk in the face

Posted by pgoody on 01/19/13 at 09:59 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

That looked like a completely lost team… a team without an identity.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 08:57 PM ET

That starts behind the bench.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 10:00 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com