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Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

“Jimmy Howard will hold on.”

We are going to hear that alot from Ken.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:35 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I keep looking for #5.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 09:36 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Period is half over.

DET have 1 SOG

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:37 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

feckin shootin gallery. Jimmy is gonna be peppered 40+ a night. Monster is already warmin up for next game. Quinkey….............your a bum!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 09:37 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

YOU might be… I shot a paltry 307.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 08:35 PM ET

Well… sometimes you eat the b(e)ar…

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:38 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Awful.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/19/13 at 09:38 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Didn’t realize that was Terataturdsucker’s first NHL goal. The tradition continues.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:38 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Fanatic U?  WTH??

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 01/19/13 at 09:38 PM ET

calquake's avatar

“Tarasenko gets his first NHL goal.”  Of course he does… against the Red Wings.  Yeesh.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:38 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Ok… so we’re through the first ten minutes.  Can we play hockey now Detroit?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:39 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Well… sometimes you eat the b(e)ar…

The bar done ate my ass that day… bad mag change AND a cross-fire. Wheee!

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:40 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Jimmy is going to be worn out before this game is half over

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:40 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I was hoping I’d sufficiently lowered my expectations but apparently not.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 09:40 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

JIMMAH!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 09:40 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Sweet… a powerless pay.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:41 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Maybe DET can get their 2nd SOG

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:41 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Belle Tire!

Oh yea, best name on bloes team: Shattenkirk. Do what you will with it.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 09:41 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Whoa… Franzen back checking?  I must be drunk.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:41 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

oH gOOD - pOWERPLAY.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:42 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Corey Perry is a little bitch.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:42 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Belle Tire!

Oh yea, best name on bloes team: Shattenkirk. Do what you will with it.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 08:41 PM ET

Shattensquirt?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Mick sounds perturbed with Moose.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 09:42 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I was hoping I’d sufficiently lowered my expectations but apparently not


To be fair we should gives the Blues credit where credit is due… HaHaHaHa I can’t even say that with a straight face.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:43 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hey, at least we got a shot - - there is that.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:43 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Oh, James. Sorry.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 09:44 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Well, the PP remains, uh, consistent.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 01/19/13 at 09:44 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

SOG: STL 12 / DET 2

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 09:45 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

WooHoo

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 09:45 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Jeezus

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:45 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

the PK of death is back!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 09:45 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Babcock Death Stare

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 09:46 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

stewie woulda made that save if he were here

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 09:46 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

All four of them standing therelooking at Jimmy.  WTF

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 09:46 PM ET

calquake's avatar

This could be the start of a very loooong year.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:46 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

This is gonna be a loooooong short season.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:46 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Great minds…

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 09:47 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

the trifecta—they’ve managed to suck shorthanded, on the PP and five-on-five!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 09:47 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

//sigh//

... five wings in front of net and no one could stop the puck

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 09:47 PM ET

calquake's avatar

This is gonna be a loooooong short season.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 08:46 PM ET

You owe me some coke. cheese

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:48 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Hey, Howie: what are the chances Holland announces a trade for a defenseman tomorrow, sporting a black eye in the press conference?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 09:48 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com