Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Burn Down The West

Syd Crosby earned his first Messier Leadership Award Nomination in 1998 at the tender age of 11.  Naturally, his glorious NHL career wouldn't start for another 3 years, but Gary Bettman felt his future endeavors warranted the nomination.  The fact that the award hadn't been invented yet was inconsequential to the diminutive commissioner.

Ten years later, Crosby lost his "C" after a then-future Red Wing captain emasCulated him.

We used to dig Jonathan Toews.  He reminded us of another former Captain. The number, the demeanor, the commitment.  He was the sole character guy on a team full of peckerheads.

Well.  That's gone, too.  Now he's just a bitch (with a Messier nomination) like Syd.  And you can blame Hank for that one, too.  Now Toews isn't event worthy of that cool-sounding name.  Taves...it just sounded smooth but tough at the same time.  A man's name.  Not a whining bitch's.

So we're taking the W away and he can't have a cool name anymore. Now he's just...Toes.  And you can play with that however you want. Whore style, if necessary.

Oh, the world is in disarray.  The unbeatable Hawks have been laid low. Not just Sunday, either.  The Wings outplayed them in the first period of Game 1 then went nappy nappy because Gary forced them to fly Disney, then back to Hockeytown, then back and all that.  Like 8 times.  Game 2 was pure domination and it was incredible to consider what lies ahead for the Wings (especially if a certain magician decides not to return home to mother Russia in 18 months or so).

Yes, Zetterberg shut down Toes.  Yes, Brunner has miraculously reappeared just when we needed him the most.  Yes, Wally seems to be actually playing.  Yes, Howard has been Howard. 

But this one belongs to Mike Babcock.  It might be one of the most daring, amazing coaching feats in recent history: Bertuzzi, Samuelsson, White, Tootoo...all sitting.  Make no mistake. They would be playing on any other team.  Not Babcock's. No.

You had last change, Joel?  What happened Joel?  Joel? You got on your bike, pedaled home and pulled out a Cosmo.  That's what. 

But that's done.  Game 2 is done and over with and if this were February we'd absolutely expect a total egg tonite.  But here's something interesting.  Where was the collapse?  Huh? Where was the third period meltdown that every single one of us knew was coming?  How does this team implode late against Anaheim, then batten down against a better team in Chicago?

Don't ask questions. Just don't.  The roof is coming off the Joe tonite.  Can you imagine that place with 90 seconds left, a Wing lead, a timeout and Journey blasting?  I know it's a cheesy song, but I love that scene.

Man, man, man. What an opportunity.  Do it Wings.  Burn this conference to the frigging ground.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  11 to 12.

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

Blow it out your ass, Opera Man

Posted by dougie on 05/20/13 at 06:39 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 06:39 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

70 mph straight line winds. That’s a tad gusty.

wind-aided home runs?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 06:39 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

well done!!!, Karen

... and Al!

your turn now, boys.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/20/13 at 06:40 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Karen !!!

Excuse me while I put the game on pause and take care of something.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/20/13 at 06:40 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Czechin in…

1/2 gallon of Sailor Jerry
Box of tricuits
Spam for noshing
One block of chedda

and some Karen Newman to boot.

Ready for game #3.  Time to step on some Toes!

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 05/20/13 at 06:40 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Karen Newman has a camel toe.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/20/13 at 06:41 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hey, awould.  Glad you’re here. 

Here we go.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/20/13 at 06:41 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

In summary so far

fuch tornados, fuch the Cawks, GO WINGS!!!

Posted by Hootinani on 05/20/13 at 06:41 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

well done!!!, Karen

and well done!!!, Karen’s surgeon wink

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 06:41 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

RW been gone a while…... Just saying.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 05/20/13 at 06:41 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Nice pass by Smith.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 06:42 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Oh man… go out Stalberg…

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 05/20/13 at 06:42 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

oh HEAD FIRST ouch

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 06:42 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Stalberg you dumbass DAHAAHDHADDHDHAHADHAHDHADHAHDHDHAD

Posted by pgoody on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Some stupid Cawks player landed face first into the endboards.  His fault.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Karen Newman has a camel toe.

way luckier than a rabbit’s foot in my book.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Oh look at that, he gets up just fine.

Although that was a nasty looking fall.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Surprised that was not a penalty on the Wing.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

come on!

Charging on Stellberg

bwahahahahahahaha

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

is Handzus gonna spend all game hugging Wings?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 06:43 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Karen Newman has a camel toe.

way luckier than a rabbit’s foot in my book.

But harder to capture.

Posted by calquake on 05/20/13 at 06:44 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Ahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa….!!!  And in his first game in the series.

Cry, Olcsux.  Cry like a bitch.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/20/13 at 06:44 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Unable to protect himself?
Stalberg missed leading with his kisser.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 06:44 PM ET

TKShreve's avatar

it was a poor line by stalberg. ya get what ya give.

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 05/20/13 at 06:44 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

way luckier than a rabbit’s foot in my book.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:43 PM ET

you have it on a key chain?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 05/20/13 at 06:44 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

is Handzus gonna spend all game hugging Wings?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:43 PM ET

Somebodies gotta drag his slow ass up and down the ice

Posted by Hootinani on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Stole game two? Uh… no.
Douche canoe at his finest.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

But harder to capture.

Posted by calquake on 05/20/13 at 07:44 PM ET


+19…....with age, comes wisdom.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Suck it, Hossa.  You don’t scare the Dong anymore.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

Primis's avatar

LOL Toews, getting punked by Ericsson.

Posted by Primis on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Karen Newman has a camel toe.

way luckier than a rabbit’s foot in my book.

But harder to capture.

Posted by calquake on 05/20/13 at 07:44 PM ET

I love you, Quake. wink


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nice knee to knee trip by Toews on Big E there.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Toes is mad.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 06:45 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

is Handzus gonna spend all game hugging Wings?

Reach-around’ll cost ya extra.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 06:46 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Since the Hawks captain is now aptley named… would Hank be called…


Posted by pgoody on 05/20/13 at 06:46 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I love you, Quake. wink


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Ditto.

Posted by calquake on 05/20/13 at 06:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

LMAO.  They put $0.20 on Dangles.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/20/13 at 06:46 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Still wanna get cutsie at home for some reason

Posted by Hootinani on 05/20/13 at 06:47 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

you have it on a key chain?

Don’t cheapen my fantasies.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 06:47 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com