Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Burn Down The West

Syd Crosby earned his first Messier Leadership Award Nomination in 1998 at the tender age of 11.  Naturally, his glorious NHL career wouldn't start for another 3 years, but Gary Bettman felt his future endeavors warranted the nomination.  The fact that the award hadn't been invented yet was inconsequential to the diminutive commissioner.

Ten years later, Crosby lost his "C" after a then-future Red Wing captain emasCulated him.

We used to dig Jonathan Toews.  He reminded us of another former Captain. The number, the demeanor, the commitment.  He was the sole character guy on a team full of peckerheads.

Well.  That's gone, too.  Now he's just a bitch (with a Messier nomination) like Syd.  And you can blame Hank for that one, too.  Now Toews isn't event worthy of that cool-sounding name.  Taves...it just sounded smooth but tough at the same time.  A man's name.  Not a whining bitch's.

So we're taking the W away and he can't have a cool name anymore. Now he's just...Toes.  And you can play with that however you want. Whore style, if necessary.

Oh, the world is in disarray.  The unbeatable Hawks have been laid low. Not just Sunday, either.  The Wings outplayed them in the first period of Game 1 then went nappy nappy because Gary forced them to fly Disney, then back to Hockeytown, then back and all that.  Like 8 times.  Game 2 was pure domination and it was incredible to consider what lies ahead for the Wings (especially if a certain magician decides not to return home to mother Russia in 18 months or so).

Yes, Zetterberg shut down Toes.  Yes, Brunner has miraculously reappeared just when we needed him the most.  Yes, Wally seems to be actually playing.  Yes, Howard has been Howard. 

But this one belongs to Mike Babcock.  It might be one of the most daring, amazing coaching feats in recent history: Bertuzzi, Samuelsson, White, Tootoo...all sitting.  Make no mistake. They would be playing on any other team.  Not Babcock's. No.

You had last change, Joel?  What happened Joel?  Joel? You got on your bike, pedaled home and pulled out a Cosmo.  That's what. 

But that's done.  Game 2 is done and over with and if this were February we'd absolutely expect a total egg tonite.  But here's something interesting.  Where was the collapse?  Huh? Where was the third period meltdown that every single one of us knew was coming?  How does this team implode late against Anaheim, then batten down against a better team in Chicago?

Don't ask questions. Just don't.  The roof is coming off the Joe tonite.  Can you imagine that place with 90 seconds left, a Wing lead, a timeout and Journey blasting?  I know it's a cheesy song, but I love that scene.

Man, man, man. What an opportunity.  Do it Wings.  Burn this conference to the frigging ground.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  11 to 12.

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Comments

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SYF's avatar

Lived for 18 years in suburban Detroit and the worst I’ve ever experienced it was a severe thunderstorm (greenage in the skies) that destroyed a 100 year old oak tree in front of our house.  The branches from that tree broke off and destroyed two of our cars.  It broke our hearts as a neighborhood that it had to come down.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:07 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Why I love this blog, Part 4


Thank God,  all the children at Briarwood elementary have been accounted for, no fatalities there.  Apparently two other schools heavily damaged, no word yet.  Amazingly, unless you are one if those involved, only five fatalities today - at least so far.

We can all say “amen brother” that things weren’t any worse than this even as we send out our deepest respects to those not as fortunate tonight.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:10 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Posted by
          SYF
     
    from the Flood on 05/20/13 at 07:07 PM ET

I always seem to miss them by 15 minutes.  Was canoeing in a thunderstorm on the Muskegon River a few summers back when a tornado blew through.  River was raging but didn’t understand how bad the storm was until we started home.  Demolition everywhere.

Same with straight winds through Dansville, MI a few years back.

Missed one here in Cbus by 15.  Clouds were rolling in when we got off the lake.  15 minutes later, we’re at 270 and there’s tornados where we just were.

Similar thing, the “night of the tornados” here in Cbus where we got HAMMERED.  Had to drive to my folks at 2am through that shit.  Talk about pucker factor.  Tornados are scary as is, but driving into one in the dark would pucker Bert up.  Thankfully made it to my folks to wake-em up and go to the basement, thankfully we just missed that one too.

Hope I can keep my luck up.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 05/20/13 at 07:12 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

(greenage in the skies)

Man, I remember riding my bike an hearing my mother yelling for me to get my ass inside the house—those midwest thunderstorms were frightening enough.  Tornadoes—a whole different ballgame.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:13 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Thank God,  all the children at Briarwood elementary have been accounted for, no fatalities there.  Apparently two other schools heavily damaged, no word yet.  Amazingly, unless you are one if those involved, only five fatalities today - at least so far.

Thank you all for your concern.  Junior is out on SAR.

Still no power, so no LB.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 22 on 05/20/13 at 07:03 PM ET

Blessings that you and yours are safe, Jeff.  Will be lighting candles for all of those affected.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:13 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Thank God,  all the children at Briarwood elementary have been accounted for, no fatalities there.  Apparently two other schools heavily damaged, no word yet.  Amazingly, unless you are one if those involved, only five fatalities today - at least so far.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 22 on 05/20/13 at 07:03 PM ET

That’s some good news then, at least.

I live down near the tri-state border (MI-IN-OH) in the middle of nowhere and we get a lot of storms funneled right through here.  We have them hit, but thankfully not much in the area to hit.

Posted by Primis on 05/20/13 at 07:15 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Thank God,  all the children at Briarwood elementary have been accounted for, no fatalities there.  Apparently two other schools heavily damaged, no word yet.  Amazingly, unless you are one if those involved, only five fatalities today - at least so far. 

Thank you all for your concern.  Junior is out on SAR.

Still no power, so no LB.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 22 on 05/20/13 at 07:03 PM ET

good news, thanks, jeff

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/20/13 at 07:16 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Thanks Jeff for keeping us informed.  Continuing to pray!

 

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 05/20/13 at 07:17 PM ET

awould's avatar

I hope the Red Wings win.

Posted by awould on 05/20/13 at 07:20 PM ET

SYF's avatar

The worst I’ve seen it get here in Vegas was in ‘99, IIRC. It was the “Storm of the Century.”  The rains were bad enough, but the resulting flash floods are now in the annals of Clark County history.  As a result, the Regional Flood Control District built several very large flood control devices that thankfully have reduced the severity of flash floods.

Onto the game:  NBC is talking about the Cawks unbeaten streak and what it means.  Wings fans have the short answer:  NOTHING.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:23 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wow, I was out working in the yard and didn’t know about this.  Just insane, how much damage that did.  2 miles wide.  As a lifelong yooper, we don’t see this kind of thing very often.  The worst I have ever seen is bad thunderstorms and hail.  I am not sure what else to say, but I hope as many people as possible are going to be ok.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 07:23 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I can’t find me a CBC feed.  I’m muting this bitch.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:24 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I would like to point out that Jeremy Roenick is one ugly SOB

Posted by dougie on 05/20/13 at 07:26 PM ET

awould's avatar

Apparently Chicago will make an effort this game, like they did in their 7-1 regular season win. Uh oh.

Posted by awould on 05/20/13 at 07:26 PM ET

Primis's avatar

As a result, the Regional Flood Control District built several very large flood control devices that thankfully have reduced the severity of flash floods.

Posted by SYF from the Flood on 05/20/13 at 07:23 PM ET

We visited Vegas a few years ago and I saw those.  Someone wondered aloud why they were necessary in the middle of the desert, and I guessed aloud that the desert was probably *why*... because it has to go somewhere, and Vegas (especially down by the Strip and the airport) in mostly in low-lying areas (I think north of downtown it drops down again as well, from what I remember).

Posted by Primis on 05/20/13 at 07:27 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I would like to point out that Jeremy Roenick is one ugly SOB

Posted by dougie on 05/20/13 at 07:26 PM ET

say what???

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/20/13 at 07:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Yup.  It was 1999. (PDF file)

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:29 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/20/13 at 07:28 PM ET

MY EYES!!!!!!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/20/13 at 07:30 PM ET

Bent's avatar

NBC has other crews.  Why do we always get these bozos?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 07:30 PM ET

TKShreve's avatar

Apparently Chicago will make an effort this game…...

Posted by awould on 05/20/13 at 07:26 PM ET

Says the same bounce-back story, cookie cutter pre-game schlap NBCsp throws up.. er out at ya. Sprinkle in some Milbury and it’s a full blown dry heave.

 

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 05/20/13 at 07:30 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

NBC has other crews.  Why do we always get these bozos?
Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 07:30 PM ET

Because they love the Wings sooooo much.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/20/13 at 07:31 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Fukkin Edzo.  His distaste for saying anything good about the Wings is almost palpable.  Undoubtedly already desperately looking for a patch of ice to blame it all on.

Goals on the rocks for the house!  Put it on my tab.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:31 PM ET

TKShreve's avatar

NBC has other crews.  Why do we always get these bozos?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 05/20/13 at 07:30 PM ET

Who did the games last night? I liked.

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 05/20/13 at 07:32 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

Aloha Bitches,

Im a nervous as a whore in church.

Let Go Red Wings!

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 05/20/13 at 07:32 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Primis, there’s one right by my house less than half a mile away and our neighborhood is right smack in the path of a major flood path.

Arguably, the lowest point in the valley is right under the former Imperial Palace (now called The Quad).  But even that is fixed.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/20/13 at 07:32 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Im a nervous as a whore in church.

The churches I went to never had these kinds of amenities—tell us more.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:33 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Do I hear Murph’s voice over the PA in the background of the Wings radio broadcast. Did the Wings hire Murph after Fox shitcanned him?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/20/13 at 07:34 PM ET

awould's avatar

This crew gets out their requisite Red Wings praise pregame so they can spend the rest of the game on praising Chicago for their success or blaming Chicago/refs/octopi for Detroits success. They’re the worst. And Doc needs to quit showing off how well he knows numbers.

Posted by awould on 05/20/13 at 07:34 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Perfect for the 19… Especially on nights like tonight…


Posted by pgoody on 05/20/13 at 07:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Im a nervous as a whore in church.
The churches I went to never had these kinds of amenities—tell us more.
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:33 PM ET

LOL

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/20/13 at 07:34 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by awould on 05/20/13 at 07:34 PM ET

You left out “subtle interference”

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:35 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

The storm that cancelled the boys baseball tournament championship game blast night had 70 mph straight line winds. That’s a tad gusty.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 07:35 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Evenin’ Bitches.

Thoughts and prayers to all those affected in tornado alley.  I have gone thru multiple hurricanes down here and they are nuttin to mess with, but tornadoes scare me.  it’s the no warning thing I guess.

LGRW

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 05/20/13 at 07:37 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

The storm that cancelled the boys baseball tournament championship game blast night had 70 mph straight line winds. That’s a tad gusty.

Imagine what “Wind-aided” Datsyuk could do in those conditions.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:37 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music-arts/doors-ray-manzarek-dead-74-article-1.1349466

Ray Manzarek dead.  Here in my photo from his concert in Richmond with Doors guitarist Robby Krieger. 

Innovator, unmistakable keyboard sound, and hit on my daughter after the concert.  Cheers Ray!  Thanks and we’ll miss ya!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/20/13 at 07:37 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Game Time!!!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 05/20/13 at 07:37 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Karen   *sigh

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:38 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Karen Newman! Yea!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 07:39 PM ET

monkey's avatar

It’s on now. Time to burn stuff.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/20/13 at 07:39 PM ET

Tony Perkis's avatar

Ray Manzarek is dead?! WTF

Man’s a *#$%@& genius. Not sure if you guys ever heard him take over the lead vocals when Jim was too shot to go on, but he sings just as good.

need some good news today. Win Wings win.

Posted by Tony Perkis from Drinking at Robert's Lounge with Billy Batts on 05/20/13 at 07:39 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com