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Abel to Yzerman

Bring The Bitterness. Live Blogging The Boys Of January.

So I guess it’s on then.  Another chance for another baby brother to flex and stomp and spew their bluster.  January hockey for another wannabe and a game that for them is the “most important of the season”, yet for the Wings is just…January hockey.

I don’t have to point you anywhere to tell you just how pumped Blues fans are.  We know they’ve been lifting all day and choking down Pall Malls in between sets.

Most of them—statistics show—have been raised, and even conceived, by first or second cousins.  Literacy, hygiene and electricity are frowned upon.  Few even realize where the city of St. Louis is and even fewer have actually attended a hockey game.  But, for some reason, they’ve latched on to this train wreck of a franchise and have refused to let go. 

They deserve substantial credit for that, for this loyalty to a team that has brought them nothing but statically transmitted losing seasons of Blues hockey.

Most of all though, and this is frequently discussed in the dark corners of The Hasek, where Voox refuses to let the youngsters frolic, Blues fans live to hate you, Red Wing fans.  Even in times like these, the cold months, when double rainbows make them quiver along with winning records and disgustingly misguided hope, they reserve a spot in their pointy heads for a very legitimate brand of bitterness.

It’s legitimate because we have custody of them.  Physical, legal custody.  The Blues laugh when Detroit lets them.  Blues fans smile when we allow it.  If the sun shines on that shithole of a city it’s because Ken Holland gave the swaddled gift child a nod and a wink.

Oh, but now they’re competitive.  Now they have a big eater at the helm and all is well.  All. Is. Well.  Right up there with the big boys: Detroit and the middle brother in Chicago.  If the playoffs started today, they’d be the 4 seed.  Oh the chills.

But, alas Babylon, it’s only January.  And if Blues fans have learned one thing over the last twenty years…it’s that January means exactly jack shit.  Nonetheless, here they are and good for them. The little tykes. Good for them.

We’re wondering though, Blues fans.  Oh yes. We’re wondering when the fall will come, because it always does.  We’re wondering if maybe it won’t start tonite in cozy little Joe Louis, where the bad men play and the noises hurt, where the memories are brutal. 

Sooner or later, because history and providence and everything else that is holy decree it, the wheels are coming off.  And just like every year since 1997, we’ll be there to remind you that talking shit about Vladimir Konstantinov guarantees you nothing but earned sadness.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  And if you’re a Blues fan, just dropping in…Fuch Detroit?  Oh no my friends. Oh no.  Fuch you.

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RWBill's avatar

G’nite bitches.  Catch y’all on Wednesday.  Don’t forget the TPH will be featured on OLN before the game.

A tiny peak into the life of the greatest defenceman of all time.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/23/12 at 10:11 PM ET

Thanks for the tip, I hadn’t heard that yet.

Posted by RWBill on 01/24/12 at 01:35 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

So Bitter Kenny Bitchcock packs his douchebag full of Blues and heads back to Saint Looweee to face the awesome Penqueens next.  Have nice trip ....

Great game.  Inspiring game.  Even the DC and crew were commenting on Holland making a BIG deal by deadline.  Of course, what the hell do they know…but it’s good to hear.

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, Czech out my recliner..... on 01/24/12 at 01:36 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

This is better, the previous pic was cut off a bit.  oh no it wasn’t.

Commodore centering Helm and Clears, so close @commie22!

Posted by RWBill on 01/24/12 at 01:39 AM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Great night, 19. Though I think we lost a member with all of our Sandusky witticisms, jokes, punchlines and puns. Or in my case, memories.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 01/24/12 at 01:45 AM ET

Primis's avatar

It’s called poise….maybe Senor Donut behind the bench should explain it to his team.

Posted by Valek on 01/23/12 at 09:49 PM ET

Line of the night.

I said on Twitter tonight that STL is basically a sheep in wolf’s clothing:  they present a hard image of rough, hitting, physical play.  And yet tonight the Wings decided to give it right back… and when they did the Blues shrunk like the delicate flowers they are.  They do… not… like… getting… hit… back.  Make a note of it.  The BLues didn’t, and couldn’t, man up when the Wings did.

At a critical juncture with 5 or 6 min. to go in the game, The BLose captain takes a dumb penalty away from the puck so he doesn’t have to be on the ice.  Man, what a leader!  I’m so glad he’s the best forward in the NHL right now like Lame Time says!!!

And to top it all off… the Bloozers get pwn3d when Howard goes off on them with seconds to go.  Wouldn’t have any other goalie, would we?...

But that’s ok, I’m sure Lame Time is full of nothing but excuses tonight.  They have been for decades now, since before there even was a Lame Time.

Notice was served tonight… and it tasted very familiar to St. Louis.  What with it being Failure and all.

Posted by Primis on 01/24/12 at 01:53 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Glad the Wings woke up after Babbles told the douche canoe to get the hell out way.  Must sign Stuie ASAP.  Mule is playing the inspired game we expect finally.  13 page L-bee ona Monday night . Way to go you 19 bitches. Have a great night until Wednesday in Frenchieland.

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 01/24/12 at 01:56 AM ET

Primis's avatar

My first data service was a steaming 300 baud dial up bulletin board service. All text, all the time.  Mostly looking up the previous night’s red wings score.

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/23/12 at 10:09 PM ET

I totally used to have a 1200 baud modem I’d go BBSing with, and was elated when I figured out how to set the jumpers to make it 2400 baud (2x THE SPEED!!!  FEEL THE BURN!).  Man those text-based door games seemed to FLY then… 

...and then the RIP-enabled boards and terminals came along and we went careening down the path to where we are today, where we watch the game on huge flatscreens while instantaneously Tweeting to the world making fun of Ken Hitchcock on our phones and tablets, call Chris Stewart names, and question the sexuality of the Barret Jackman Auto Show.

I friggin’ love technology.

Posted by Primis on 01/24/12 at 02:02 AM ET

SYF's avatar

From TSN:

Stewart was given a penalty for instigating and a 10- minute misconduct, but didn’t regret it because he said Pietrangelo has to be protected.

“I have no problem doing that,” Stewart said. “That was definitely more playoff hockey. Physical from the start. Trying to set the tone against a rival and somebody who you’ll probably face in the playoffs.”

Ah yes, let the idiocy flow through you, Stewart.  We scored on your knuckledragging dumbfuckery.  In fact, your teammate, Jaime Langenbrunner said:

“We played good in stretches, but we crumbled when things got tight,” Blues forward Jamie Langenbrunner said. “We got those retaliatory penalties. That takes away our momentum and gets us out of our comfort zone.”

Holy hell, not one of you on that joke of a team are even on the same page.

Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 01/24/12 at 03:01 AM ET


Gotta keep this short… I’m looking to make it to the winter classic at the big house do I’m trying to findsubmit place to stay for a few days.  I know, I know…Lame.  But I’m devoted and unfortunately broke.

Posted by 619wingsfan on 01/24/12 at 03:12 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Just finished watching.  What a bunch of cocks.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/24/12 at 04:45 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Posted by SYF from Dr. Ima Tearadikov’s “Office” on 01/24/12 at 12:01 AM ET

The funny thing is, Langenbrunner’s penalty was the ultimate meltdown/retaliatory penalty, slashing a stick halfway across the ice.  Way dumber than Stewart’s even.

I’ve watched Langenbrunner come up.  He started out in the IHL 1.0 as a young kid with a ridiculous temper, and over the years he’d curbed that mostly.  Last couple of years, his temper seems to be taking hold of him again.  He probably should have retired this year.

Things that are awesome:  Read the recap on Lame Time, and they literally think Howard is a goon out to get them.  They’re scared of a goalie.  Our goalie.  They got on Howard for punching guys with his blocker and trapper, completely ignoring the fact that the guy he was scrumming with who was trying to act all tough has a visor himself.

Posted by Primis on 01/24/12 at 12:23 PM ET


knuckledragging dumbfuckery

Posted by SYF from Dr. Ima Tearadikov’s “Office” on 01/24/12 at 12:01 AM ET

Fantastic!  A new favorite.

Posted by deezer on 01/24/12 at 12:24 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com