Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Bring The Bitterness. Live Blogging The Boys Of January.

So I guess it’s on then.  Another chance for another baby brother to flex and stomp and spew their bluster.  January hockey for another wannabe and a game that for them is the “most important of the season”, yet for the Wings is just…January hockey.

I don’t have to point you anywhere to tell you just how pumped Blues fans are.  We know they’ve been lifting all day and choking down Pall Malls in between sets.

Most of them—statistics show—have been raised, and even conceived, by first or second cousins.  Literacy, hygiene and electricity are frowned upon.  Few even realize where the city of St. Louis is and even fewer have actually attended a hockey game.  But, for some reason, they’ve latched on to this train wreck of a franchise and have refused to let go. 

They deserve substantial credit for that, for this loyalty to a team that has brought them nothing but statically transmitted losing seasons of Blues hockey.

Most of all though, and this is frequently discussed in the dark corners of The Hasek, where Voox refuses to let the youngsters frolic, Blues fans live to hate you, Red Wing fans.  Even in times like these, the cold months, when double rainbows make them quiver along with winning records and disgustingly misguided hope, they reserve a spot in their pointy heads for a very legitimate brand of bitterness.

It’s legitimate because we have custody of them.  Physical, legal custody.  The Blues laugh when Detroit lets them.  Blues fans smile when we allow it.  If the sun shines on that shithole of a city it’s because Ken Holland gave the swaddled gift child a nod and a wink.

Oh, but now they’re competitive.  Now they have a big eater at the helm and all is well.  All. Is. Well.  Right up there with the big boys: Detroit and the middle brother in Chicago.  If the playoffs started today, they’d be the 4 seed.  Oh the chills.

But, alas Babylon, it’s only January.  And if Blues fans have learned one thing over the last twenty years…it’s that January means exactly jack shit.  Nonetheless, here they are and good for them. The little tykes. Good for them.

We’re wondering though, Blues fans.  Oh yes. We’re wondering when the fall will come, because it always does.  We’re wondering if maybe it won’t start tonite in cozy little Joe Louis, where the bad men play and the noises hurt, where the memories are brutal. 

Sooner or later, because history and providence and everything else that is holy decree it, the wheels are coming off.  And just like every year since 1997, we’ll be there to remind you that talking shit about Vladimir Konstantinov guarantees you nothing but earned sadness.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  And if you’re a Blues fan, just dropping in…Fuch Detroit?  Oh no my friends. Oh no.  Fuch you.

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Comments

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FranzensMouthguard's avatar

Fook Me?

LGRW

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 01/23/12 at 08:35 PM ET

Paul's avatar

We have done some major tweaking regarding the slow posting of comments problem.

I sure would appreciate if some of you can let me know how things are throughout the night.

I’d prefer you shoot me an email at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or you can leave a message here, but I don’t want to ruin a good live blog with comments about how the site is running.

Thanks.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 01/23/12 at 08:37 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Ahoy, Master Chief.  Happiness abounds.  Well, drunken happiness, at least, because I can’t remember the last time I tried to enjoy a Wings victory without the inept PP making me spit technicolor yawns into my beautiful black pint of Guinness.

Anywha-hoo, two points for the taking, Wings.  I don’t give a shit how you get ‘em; just get the two points.  If Vermette’s double shot at taking out Dangle’s legs don’t get you pissed off, well, I don’t know what will.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 01/23/12 at 08:38 PM ET

Avatar

If I may be so bold, a slight edit:

And if Blues fans should have learned one thing over the last twenty years…it’s that January means exactly jack shit.

So sorry, please excuse.

Posted by dumbasrocks on 01/23/12 at 08:40 PM ET

Avatar

“And if you’re a Blues fan, just dropping in…Fuch Detroit?  Oh no my friends. Oh no.  Fuch you”

PRICELESS smile

Posted by Nat from MTL on 01/23/12 at 08:47 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I’m exctied for this game (well as about excited as one gets during the regular season).  I realize it is January hockey and all that but at least it is not Columbus again. 

I’m on DVR delay tonight as I won’t even get home until after the puck has dropped.  Not excited about having the NBCSN crew, would much prefer Ken and Mick but at least I’ll have HD.

Let’s go Red Wings!  Break the darn trap the Hitch is running and get a lot of shots on goal.

and maybe, just maybe score on the PP?

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 01/23/12 at 08:47 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

And if Blues fans have learned one thing

is it possible for a blues fan to learn anything?

game on bitches, lgrw.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/23/12 at 08:48 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Former Blue turned colour analyst’s call on Datsyuk’s shot into Mike Smith’s glove during the shootout, a very gentlemanly gesture from the league’s most consistently gentlemanly player (Corey Perry get fuct): “Suck on that!”

Same former Blue tough guy’s response to a question after yet another playoff season ending loss to Detroit, in which the reporter asked why the players coming from the Detroit locker room had such smug, ear-to-ear grins on their faces: “Sucked on that. Hard, sloppily and with a grace and eagerness they’re not likely to see this side of the Rocky Mountains.”

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 01/23/12 at 08:54 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

hahaha Sully, who would that be?

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 01/23/12 at 09:01 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

I didn’t realize it was a Versucks game….dammm it. Let me save edzo the trouble. Wings had too many on the ice there, the boards at joe Louis are extremely lively, and Im in love with Pierre.

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/23/12 at 09:02 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

hahaha Sully, who would that be?
Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 01/23/12 at 06:01 PM ET

Tyson Nash. Classiest guy in sports smile

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 01/23/12 at 09:08 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Usually I’m in bed by 7 on a Monday night; something to do with spending the weekend pickled, so I’m told.

But tonight, no way. This is going to be a great game.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 09:10 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Its on FSD+ for me so I am spared listening that awful announcing crew.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/23/12 at 09:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Good evening, bitches.  It’s on now.  It’s on now.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 09:11 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

the boards at joe Louis are extremely lively, and Im in love with Pierre.
Posted by Down River Dan on 01/23/12 at 06:02 PM ET

Don’t forget that if any Wings player gets hurt, it serves him right for knowing that a player was approaching him and turning his back to him to face the boards at the last possible second in hopes to draw a call, or that the stick just “grazed” their testicle, or that Jim Howard is a flopper, or that “these things happen when you’re old.”

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 01/23/12 at 09:12 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Its on FSD+

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/23/12 at 06:10 PM ET

Oh, man, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 09:13 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

You all with the FSD+ are so lucky.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 01/23/12 at 09:15 PM ET

jimathor's avatar

Boo Yah.

And not just that, but I have an hour and a half to bust out the microscope and search for the tiniest shit that I’m supposed to give about Timmy Thomas’ antics today. Glenn Beck indeed.

Also didn’t realise we were without the beloved Ken and Mick tonight, perhaps we have enough time to work out a drinking game involving the “trifecta of douche” that will be infecting our ears this evening?

How’s about, Homer bashing, Cindy referencing, The Z/Nikitin thing, something being pointlessly referred too as “a tradition in our sport”, oh the list goes on and on and on.

Posted by jimathor from The land of Sir Humblepatch of Bumblehound on 01/23/12 at 09:17 PM ET

John W.'s avatar

It’s FSD+ and NBCSN.  I’m assuming NBCSN will be blacked out in the Detroit market.

Posted by John W. from a bubble wrap cocoon on 01/23/12 at 09:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  And if you’re a Blues fan, just dropping in…Fuch Detroit?  Oh no my friends. Oh no.  Fuch you.

Evenin’ Bitches. So eloquent in his speech. Master Chief, you always know exactly the right things to say.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/12 at 09:19 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

All of you owe me twenty dollars each if we hear the following (in no particular order):

Edzo: “Those (long pause for no reason) ...active boards here at the Joe”

Pierre: “I like the push- back of the Blues, Edzo!”

Doc: “Lidstrom finesses it in before going on a line change”

Edzo: “I want you to watch this! Stop here, guys…look how David Backes creates time and space…”

Pierre: “They are buying into Hitchcock’s system, Edzo, and they are for real!”

Pierre: “Detroit’s power-play has to be a real concern, Edzo”

Doc: “What are you sensing on the benches, Pierre?”

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 09:20 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Doc: “What are you sensing on the benches, Pierre?”

Ball sweat.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 09:21 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

And not just that, but I have an hour and a half to bust out the microscope and search for the tiniest shit that I’m supposed to give about Timmy Thomas’ antics today. Glenn Beck

Posted by jimathor from Southampton, UK. on 01/23/12 at 06:17 PM ET

If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have commented over here, on a blog that has nothing to do with that issue.

Do us all a favor, drop it.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 09:22 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Its on FSD+

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/23/12 at 06:10 PM ET

Oh, man, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 06:13 PM ET

I hope it isn’t black out b/c of NBC… Emrick usually doesn’t get on my nerves (although it does seem that senility is setting in), but Eddie Olbytch has been unbearable the past couple times we’ve had to listen to him.

Its whiskey + Diet Vernors+ a splash of lime juice tonight.  Larry Murphy is buying.  All aboard the Hasek!

LGRW!

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/23/12 at 09:22 PM ET

monkey's avatar

And not just that, but I have an hour and a half to bust out the microscope and search for the tiniest shit that I’m supposed to give about Timmy Thomas’ antics today. Glenn Beck indeed.

I wanted to say something about this, but… no politics.  No.  Politics.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 09:23 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Ball sweat.

Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/23/12 at 06:21 PM ET

My work of art…destroyed in mere milliseconds by the juvenile tactics of the 19.

 


.

 

 

.

LOVE IT!!

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/23/12 at 09:24 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I hate NBCSN!!!!!  Not sure what to do tonight. I cannot listen to those idiots.

Great post, Chief!

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/23/12 at 09:24 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Oveckin Suspended Three Games

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/23/12 at 09:28 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Ball sweat.
Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/23/12 at 06:21 PM ET
My work of art…destroyed in mere milliseconds by the juvenile tactics of the 19.

Pierre:  “Sure is a lot of ball sweat on these benches down here at the Joe, don’t you think so Edzo?”

Edzo:  “Not real sure Pierre, but I used to do a good job of cleaning that up with my constantly working mouth when I was head coach of Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins.”

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 01/23/12 at 09:37 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I hate NBCSN!!!!!  Not sure what to do tonight. I cannot listen to those idiots.

Great post, Chief!

Here is my plan. Mute sound. Watch the game with one eye, read my Kindle with the other eye. Live Blog with my third eye.

Posted by dougie on 01/23/12 at 09:44 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

Oveckin Suspended Three Games

Pens fans already saying its not long enough and that Ovi is the biggest thug in the league

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 01/23/12 at 09:44 PM ET

Norskirama's avatar

An additional one you will hear from the NBCavalcade of Sports

Doc: “And Howard waffleboards it to the corner”

Posted by Norskirama from Lincoln, Nebraska on 01/23/12 at 09:53 PM ET

monkey's avatar

“Sashay”.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 09:55 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Oveckin Suspended Three Games

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/23/12 at 06:28 PM ET

’Bout fuching time.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/12 at 09:58 PM ET

monkey's avatar

My work of art…destroyed in mere milliseconds by the juvenile tactics of the 19.

“Abel to Yzerman- making everything dirty in sixty seconds or less”

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 09:58 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Howdy bitches.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/23/12 at 09:59 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Half an hour of Douche-zo and the Douche-canoe.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/12 at 10:02 PM ET

monkey's avatar

For the love of gibbity gibbons… drop the horking puck you hosers.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 10:04 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Milbury just claimed that a goaltender has no chance when someone’s sitting on his face.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/23/12 at 10:05 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Milbury and Jonesy. Praising the Wings?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/12 at 10:06 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com