Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Blunt Objects Vs. Scalpels

The 19 are inundated with trolls daily.  And yet none of them are ever clever enough to really understand us and stick around.  After a while it becomes like picking on the slow kid.  You start to feel sorry for them because they will never get it.  Ever.

When I read certain comments in this post, I get pissed.  As always, I’m not one to refrain from telling anybody off. 

Especially when the trolls come out to play. 

Many trolls make fools out of themselves here at A2Y.  Just like this:

Posted by Go-Pens-66-68-87-71-11 on 08/16/10 at 04:34 PM ET
Anyway, Rosby hasn’t caught on anywhere other than on this stupid blog. No one calls him that. You guys have no clout whatsoever.

and this:


Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/16/10 at 08:38 PM ET
...If I were a Red Wings fan, I would probably be one of the 19 as well.
However, this instance of “Rosby” bashing was a little much, no? Really pulled out of thin air, doesn’t relate to anything, and sort of comes off as it was written by a redolent 15 year old. I understand bashing him after he starts a post-whistle scrum, but it’s pretty unnecessary and just meant to goad Pens fans into writing up clever “DeD Wingz” or “Datsuck” retorts. I shouldn’t be surprised though, since this was written by VooX. VooX tries so hard to be the Chief, and he ends up writing stuff like this. While using all of the Chief’s jokes. And using the same sentence structure. Every one of his posts just reeks of trying way too hard. But he gets his Pens fans out in full force, so I guess that’s all that matters in the slow summer months. It keeps the some of the fans here happy. I will keep reading this blog, but I will just hope that VooX writes a little less and the Chief writes a little more. The Chief is intelligent, and I get his schtick. I don’t need to read someone poorly imitate him.

I’ll address the Rosby thing in a minute, but first I want to talk to long-time A2Y douchebag, Link Gaetz.

I’m not a pharmacist, Link, I don’t bench 400 with my eyebrows, brah, but I am true to myself.  Always.  I come in swinging (ask the Douche Canoe) and I leave swinging (ask Pen(i)sblog). 

You say that if you were a Wings fan, you’d be one of the 19.  I guarantee you wouldn’t be, just ask Jimmy from Windsor about that.  You are too simple to ever be one of us, Link.  Too unrefined.

You may think we are trying to be someone else, but I’ve met the 19 and everyone is exactly the same people in a real bar as they are in our imaginary bar.  To be fair to you, Link, I imagine you are a douchebag in real life just as you are online.

So go ahead, copy our glossary, trolls.  Try and even use our words and jokes to be funny.  Just realize that you will never understand the 19.  Ever.

It’s no coincidence that Wings fans and bloggers are among the most articulate and passionate hockey fans in the world.  We’ve spent decades learning the most intelligent hockey system ever invented.  And we’re smarter than you for it.  Just read the 19’s comments any given day.  A2Y is the only news, sports, or personal blog anywhere that has more amazing material in the comments section than there is in the posts themselves. 

Someone asked why I didn’t go and blog for the Leafs now.  That’s impossible.  To go from watching the sublime hockey artistry of the Red Wings for the past twenty seasons, to the cesspool of contaminated hockey, the Maple Leafs/Loafs/Laffs, is impossible to do.

I would rather stab butter knives into my eyes than have to watch any other NHL team than the Red Wings on a regular basis.  If you show me a team who plays the game of hockey as beautifully as Detroit has for two decades, I would be a fan. Everyone here would be.  Problem is there are no other teams that can do it.  The 19 scout the teams with potential to play as well as the Wings, but they always fall short.  It’s cute like that.

Trolls will never understand the 19.  Just like Link Gaetz, they are too simple to truly comprehend Wings fans, especially the 19 here at A2Y.

The 19 don’t follow trends, we make our own. H2H will be copied by others, but they will never match the original.  Only hockey’s greatest fans and organ-I-zation could make that happen spontaneously.  And only the 19 call Sid “Rosby” because we are the wittiest bitches on the Gore.  Other blogs don’t pick up on Rosby, and we prefer it that way.  They’re fuching prehistoric compared to us, just like their fans.  They are Pronger.  We are Lidstrom.  Blunt Objects vs. Scalpels.

So spare me your new content filter, Kukla, I won’t need it.  I am the bartender.  I have a .357 on my waist and a sawed-off shotgun under the bar, and I won’t need them, either.  Because we’ve got 19 of the craziest bitches anywhere ready to slice and dice anyone who comes into our bar and makes an ass out of themselves.  Bring it on, douchebags, we will fuch you like Jobu.  The 19 are ready.  And waiting.  We are counting the Tuesdays until Lord Stanley comes home.  Is it October yet?

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Comments

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Link_Gaetz's avatar

Gotcha.

Well then…I like you too JJ


(blushes)

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 11:31 AM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

george’s mount puckmore is up on the search engine. it’s pretty damn awesome to say the least.

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/17/10 at 11:33 AM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

I’m sorry, it really can’t be called trolling with the baiting that goes on.

Well, we are the masters.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/17/10 at 11:36 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

LMAO!  Insanely envious wannabes come to the best hockey blog on The Gore to complain about non hockey talk, or the subject of hockey talk, yet keep trying to hang around with the cool kids to gain approval for their fragile egg-shell minds and find a direction for their own identity problems. Too funny, dripping with irony.  Their fathers took them into the men’s locker room at too young an age and in their own minds will never measure up.

Non-afflicted people would just click to another link if they disliked the material as much as these poor souls claim to, yet hang on desperately seeking our approval they must.  Doubt me?  Watch for their lame retorts that will surely continue.

Our approval and acceptance ain’t gonna happen, just ask the creep that’s been hangin’ around here for two years.  See a therapist or ask your mother if you can continue suckling at her teat until you grow up.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/17/10 at 11:40 AM ET

Avatar

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 10:31 AM ET

Please.  There was a period there where regardless of what Tony posted, there’d be a comment about bandwagon fans, Steelers, or something about Crosby even if the article wasn’t about him.  Not saying there wasn’t coherent arguments from others or at other times, but don’t act like it didn’t and doesn’t happen.

Posted by pens fan in baltimore on 08/17/10 at 11:40 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Not saying there wasn’t coherent arguments from others or at other times, but don’t act like it didn’t and doesn’t happen.

I didn’t, I acted like I didn’t remember.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 11:41 AM ET

Primis's avatar

It’ll be funny if/when Paul launches the new KK and the Ignore option pops up.  Since you have to register to comment, it’ll be very easy to eliminate trolling once and for all.

Trolls will only get one shot with each username, and Paul has already stated multiple name sunder the same IP results in a ban.

So have fun while you can, trolls.

Posted by Primis on 08/17/10 at 11:46 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Well, we are the masters.

I like hooks and fishing line and buckets for that sort of thing myself.  And I think I may be the subject of a mob hit, they say that I sleep with the fishes.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/17/10 at 11:46 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Also, people who were traveling alone paired up with roommates (I roomed with Anne from Kansas)

Baroque, please post photos of the bra and panties pillow fight.

thanks in advance.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 08/17/10 at 11:54 AM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 08/17/10 at 11:55 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

please post photos of the bra and panties pillow fight.

That’s my sister you’re talking about.

(so if you post pictures, just warn me, so I can scroll past them)

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/17/10 at 11:59 AM ET

Avatar

LMAO!  Insanely envious wannabes come to the best hockey blog on The Gore to complain about non hockey talk, or the subject of hockey talk, yet keep trying to hang around with the cool kids to gain approval for their fragile egg-shell minds and find a direction for their own identity problems. Too funny, dripping with irony.  Their fathers took them into the men’s locker room at too young an age and in their own minds will never measure up.

Non-afflicted people would just click to another link if they disliked the material as much as these poor souls claim to, yet hang on desperately seeking our approval they must.  Doubt me?  Watch for their lame retorts that will surely continue.

Our approval and acceptance ain’t gonna happen, just ask the creep that’s been hangin’ around here for two years.  See a therapist or ask your mother if you can continue suckling at her teat until you grow up.

You are right… sorry.  Help me find something hockey related in this rant above.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 12:09 PM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

It’ll be funny if/when Paul launches the new KK and the Ignore option pops up.  Since you have to register to comment, it’ll be very easy to eliminate trolling once and for all.

It’s fun for a little bit, but like when I’m playing a game with my kids, it gets old after a while.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/17/10 at 12:10 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

It’s fun for a little bit, but like when I’m playing a game with my kids, it gets old after a while.

A wise man who goes by the initials J.H.C.* once told me that wrestling midgets is like rolling around with puppies: It’s fun and cute at first, but after a while you start to get tired and their breath makes you nauseous, so you hurt ‘em on purpose so they’ll leave you alone.

I always thought arguing with trolls is a lot like that too.

*not the real Jesus

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/17/10 at 12:15 PM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

Because we’ve got 19 of the craziest bitches anywhere ready to slice and dice anyone who comes into our bar and makes an ass out of themselves.  Bring it on, douchebags, we will fuch you like Jobu.  The 19 are ready.  And waiting.

___________________________________

Just ask Pinky about the ass whipping he got when he dared to f*ck with us.  “I’m calling the cops…...I was threatened.”  What a pussy.

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 08/17/10 at 12:18 PM ET

Avatar

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 08/17/10 at 10:55 AM ET

Thankyou for a post with some actual substance, I do have to hand it to people sometimes, every once in a while we get it right.

Posted by NathanBC on 08/17/10 at 12:19 PM ET

Alan's avatar

What’s pathetic is the level of trolling continues to go downhill. C’mon, Pen(i)s fans, bring your A game.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/17/10 at 10:15 AM ET

This picture immediately came to mind when I read your post.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 08/17/10 at 12:21 PM ET

pomthillips's avatar

I’ve been sneakily reading the comments for a while and never commented (long before I was a member), and I have to say the trolls haven’t bothered me at all so far - I just ignore their shitty posts.  The Chicago fans that I’ve met in person are far more annoying since you can’t avoid them and their newfound love of hockey.

Posted by pomthillips from Ann Arbor, Michigan on 08/17/10 at 12:24 PM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

The Chicago fans that I’ve met in person are far more annoying since you can’t avoid them and their newfound love of hockey

Believe me, those of us who are here know exactly what you are talking about. But it’s very easy to identify those fans that have been around a while and those “fans” that discovered the team last year. I refuse to interact with the bandwagoners.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/17/10 at 12:31 PM ET

hiero4life's avatar

If you don’t like the blogger, don’t read it. 


Seriously is it OCTOBER YET!!!!!!

Posted by hiero4life from anywhere i am on 08/17/10 at 12:46 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

A wise man who goes by the initials J.H.C.* once told me that wrestling midgets is like rolling around with puppies: It’s fun and cute at first, but after a while you start to get tired and their breath makes you nauseous, so you hurt ‘em on purpose so they’ll leave you alone.

An even wiser man by the initials of GBS once said, “I learned long ago not to wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”  And that’s not a metaphor for trolls.  I suspect most of the trolls coming around here have prominent pink snouts, snort a lot, and love a good trough of slops.

It’s fun for a little bit, but like when I’m playing a game with my kids, it gets old after a while.

Gets old quickly.

Baroque, please post photos of the bra and panties pillow fight.

Sorry, you’ll have to talk to Jennemy of the Skate’s man—as the Official A2Y Pornographer, he got all the footage, but I warn you, he’s 6’3’‘, three bills, and he shreds.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/17/10 at 12:57 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

Believe me, those of us who are here know exactly what you are talking about. But it’s very easy to identify those fans that have been around a while and those “fans” that discovered the team last year. I refuse to interact with the bandwagoners.

QFM’fingT

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 08/17/10 at 01:06 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

“I learned long ago not to wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

And if they don’t, they have been known to fake their….enthusiasm.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/17/10 at 02:16 PM ET

Andy from FightNight's avatar

oh trolls.. you make my life

Posted by Andy from FightNight on 08/17/10 at 02:30 PM ET

Flashtastick56's avatar

Not saying there wasn’t coherent arguments from others or at other times, but don’t act like it didn’t and doesn’t happen.

I didn’t, I acted like I didn’t remember.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 10:41 AM ET

Hahahahahaha…Jesus, you guys are hilarious.

Posted by Flashtastick56 from Meriden, CT on 08/17/10 at 02:59 PM ET

Baroque's avatar

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 08/17/10 at 10:54 AM ET

Nothing of the sort occurred. She got in late the night before the game, and within minutes of saying hello it was clear we got along very well and we talked hockey until 4 am when we figured we had better get some sleep before the party that afternoon.

We had a really hard time getting to bed at a decent hour because we were up late chatting about our families, jobs, and the Red Wings. Nothing so racy. smile

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/17/10 at 07:23 PM ET

pjwalny's avatar

Posted by Go-Pens-66-68-87-71-11 on 08/16/10 at 04:34 PM ET

The years Pittsburgh Penguins have NOT won the Stanley Cup:

1934,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,78,79,80,81,82,83,8,4,85,86,87,88,89,90,93,94,95,96,97,98,99, 2000,01,02,03,05,06,07,08,10.

Learn you and your insignificant franchises place in the world. The years your team has been relevant is comparable to Crosby’s playoff beard.  At least you used to have cool jerseys, until you switched from black and yellow to black and vomit from pea soup.

Posted by pjwalny from Not Detroit, evidently?? on 08/17/10 at 08:42 PM ET

pjwalny's avatar

The Penguins will never be anything comparable to the wings.

The wings have 12 cups the penguins dont.

The wings are original six royalty the penguins are not.

The wings rely on a team of talented players the pens rely on two.

The wings goalie does not look like a d*mbass or Napoelean dynomite the pens goalie does.

The wings don’t have cry babies the pens do.

The wings have amazing support throughout the world the pens don’t.

Most of all a red wings blogger doesn’t have to write post on a penguins site to show the status of his or her team. The pens fans do.

Posted by pjwalny from Not Detroit, evidently?? on 08/17/10 at 08:56 PM ET

pjwalny's avatar

o shit i forgot the Nineties, whatever the nineties were not that great anyways.

Posted by pjwalny from Not Detroit, evidently?? on 08/17/10 at 10:16 PM ET

pjwalny's avatar

and the 80’s, i must have deleted them or something. Well the 80’s were not any better than the 90’s anyways. Just Disco and America online.

Posted by pjwalny from Not Detroit, evidently?? on 08/17/10 at 10:18 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com