Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Autumn’s Closing In…And The Ship Must Be Cleansed

I honestly don’t know how any of us have survived.  Wojo pointed this out today and it reminds me just how much I hate the playoffs.

Since 2010, Detroit’s past 10 playoff losses have been by one goal.

That’s just disgusting.  As disgusting as a Wog? No, but close.

At least if we were Pens fans, our team would be getting blown out and the third periods wouldn’t be so painful.

There is no doubt that this one’s big on a Billy Baroo scale.  They’re not winning this thing after going down 1-3 and losing two straight on home ice.  The penalties have to stop. The pucks need to find space behind some Rinne ass and I’ve got to absolutely slaughter some slimey, motherfuching wogs.

Ah yes. For the first time in my Navy career, I’ve got a serious conflict between the playoffs and maritime tradition. 

We cross over into the Raging Main at first light and the cleansing will begin soon after.  More than a thousand Slimey Wogs infest this ship at the moment so it will be a long, torturous process…a process that will prevent me from even following along via the LB comments.  For the first time in more than twenty years, I’ll find out the score of a playoff game well after its completion.

This isn’t a Game 7 but it’s damn close.  Lose this one and we’ll be living by the sword and that’s not where Bullet Bob, King Neptune or Davey By God Jones wants us to be.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches and I’ll either be ravaging my way through the comments afterward or deleting them all in one big bitter fell swoop. Please baby Jesus. Please let it be the former.

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Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

In a series that is finding Detroit unable to mount any real offense.  I find the fact that Datsyuk and Zetterberg haven’t been reunited for at least a period, negligible.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 04/19/12 at 09:00 AM ET

One word. Babcock.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/19/12 at 11:04 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’ve just been transmuted into a lurker.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/19/12 at 03:04 AM ET

That’s just one step away from Stalker!

I was trying to follow the meltdown on twitter #Flyers last night but it was too hectic.

I’ve already driven B from this forum through relentless stalking and vile observations, it would not be fair to force her to abandon her last safe haven.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 01:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I agree It is a bit awkward and distracting to try and read and post comments during the game, although nowadays being distracted is a less painful alternative.  My computer location nearly puts my back to the TV, so I’ve been trying to keep up and post from the sofa with an iPad, like I’m doing right now from the handicapped stall at work.  I don’t have a qualifying disability, I just like the extra space that this stall provides.  Even using a stylus the iPad faux keyboard does not register every letter, but misses far less than using my finger.

Back in the Golden Era I had my computer on the coffee table so I could face both the TV and A2Y at the same time.  This lead to some bizarre interactions, see below. 

Gabe posts a picture of his computer screen and A2Y blog, with empty bottles in front and TV in the background.  I take a picture of my computer screen showing all of Gabe’s layout and the A2Y blog, plus my shaker which that night was used for pomegrante and vodka, with my TV in the background, and I posted that. In fact it looks like I was rocking 2 shakers that night. I believe this was the fIrst Hit Me Mick Live Blog, which would explain a lot.

This went on for several iterations, giving a view similar to lining up 2 mirrors facing each other, which if done properly results in falling through the Looking Glass into a different dimension, never to return. Who needs that.

0227092148

Then someone found a web site with a picture of a cat looking at the computer showing a picture of a cat looking at its computer, which had a picture of a cat looking at its computer showing a picture of a cat looking at its computer, ad infinitum.. 

Those were the days when Detroit floated into third periods with an effortless 2 goal lead, lost it, then started playing again and won by 2 goals…. the Year of Hossa.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 01:36 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Seriously, how does a team with this much skill suck so badly right now?

Posted by 11B3PF7 in MN on 04/17/12 at 10:50 PM ET


That may be a misperception.  Not that they suck, that they have a lot of skill.

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 04/18/12 at 11:09 AM ET

Exactly.  I believe this was the point I’ve been making since last spring —the organization, the media and even the fans have consistently overrated this roster.  They’ve semed one or two key players away from being where the need to be for a couple years now.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/19/12 at 01:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Yes, indeed, the above “picture of a picture of a picture” and all those empty bottles occured on the very first Hit Me Mick Live Blog, February 27, 2009.  Wings win over LA 2-1, goals by——Derek Meech and Tomas Kopecky.

Chief wanted to do another Hit Me Mick again the very next night, but the rest of us couldn’t keep up with the active duty sailor.

There may be some who weren’t around, The 19 do change names and even Baroque5 was posting LB then.

This was, still could be, a drinking game tailored to FSD Red Wings fans.  It worked right off the bat with Mickey’s first wink.  Here are some of the rules to Hit Me Mick

They seem flexible. I added my own rule, the one mandatory time per game Ken uses the word “stanchion” requires a drink. Then I added another one, Ken referring to “his number xx counterpart”, which he also uses once per game.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 02:10 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

They seem flexible. I added my own rule, the one mandatory time per game Ken uses the word “stanchion” requires a drink. Then I added another one, Ken referring to “his number xx counterpart”, which he also uses once per game.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 04/19/12 at 12:10 PM ET

I’ve often wondered if some of those commentators have a checksheet sitting in front of them to remind them of certain things they’re supposed to say.

“Hey Ken, you better hurry your ass up and use ‘stanchion’ tonight…the bitches over at A2Y are going to go to bed sober tonight.”

“Oh shit Mick…thanks!”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/19/12 at 03:07 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 04/19/12 at 12:10 PM ET

I enjoy you.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 04/19/12 at 05:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 04/19/12 at 03:42 PM ET

I enjoyed one of your songs, I think Ocean Avenue, a couple of months ago in the Monte Carlo Casino - the Hotel, not the country.  “Hey that’s one of my fake friends singing”  i think its on a set they repeat cuz i heard it last year there too.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 07:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

This is pretty outstanding too.

Sing to Me.

yellow card

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 07:10 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Help me, obewan Baroque, you’re my only hope.
What sort of flour / food pest is this?  I found some web like spinnings in a jar of wheat flour.  Then I saw a couple of these fellows flying around.  I opened a container of Quaker Oatmeal and damn if they weren’t having a convention in there.  How they got into a container of oatmeal with a snap on lid I don’t know.

They must be in my old, stale cereal now.  Every evening I get half a dozen of these little bastards flying around.  I thought I had eradicated them but these must be the children or children of children.

What are they?  I don’t want to use any harsh chemical like I would on fleas, I can smack them between my hands, or my cats bat them out of mid air.

Oh, the picture, a couple of nights ago I woke up at 1 a.m. or so on the sofa, looked down at what was left of glass #4 of red wine and noticed passing between my lips one of these little things that had dive bombed into the glass.  I left it out all night and by next morning a few more had plummeted to their death in the glass, so I left it out.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/19/12 at 08:10 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Thats some silence of the lambs shit right there Bill, whattaminute your names Bill…

Posted by pgoody on 04/19/12 at 11:10 PM ET

Avatar

A parity dream’s come true. For the first time in 60 plus years the first four games in a series went into OT (PHO-CHI).

Aaaaaand, welcome to the House of Misery, Chicago fans, down 1-3 in games!

Posted by Alex on 04/20/12 at 12:49 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

A parity dream’s come true. For the first time in 60 plus years the first four games in a series went into OT (PHO-CHI).

Aaaaaand, welcome to the House of Misery, Chicago fans, down 1-3 in games!

Posted by Alex on 04/19/12 at 10:49 PM ET

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Detroit damn sure tried with the ducks in…damn what year was that?  First two into OT..then decided right at the end…then another into OT?  Wasn’t one or two like multiple OT’s?  Ok, going to bed now.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/20/12 at 01:06 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Detroit could be the first team eliminated.  PIT-PHI starts a half hour before the Wings tomorrow, if Pens lose in regulation they’ll be out first.

Of course tomorrow could be the start of a comeback to win the series, too.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/20/12 at 01:50 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

but owning a keyboard doesn’t make me a hockey expert.

Posted by dougie on 04/19/12 at 06:19 PM ET

WHATTT ?!!!?!
You must be the only one.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/20/12 at 02:13 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Ha Ha…the Sharts are choking at home. This is good hockey.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 04/20/12 at 02:46 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

No Game Day post….
OAKIE!?
wandering….
aimless…..
coffee.
Need coffee.
Eww, RW that’s some crunchy wine.
Is the game cancelled?
Is A2Y broke?
Is this thing on?
Panic….ing. 
Crap. 
Breathe deep.
Yellowcard. Sure why not.
Start day….....

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/20/12 at 02:17 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Meh?


Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/20/12 at 02:21 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Where’s OAkie? GDT? Help!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/20/12 at 02:29 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

We better see a lot of this tonight

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/20/12 at 02:31 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com