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Abel to Yzerman

Autumn’s Closing In…And The Ship Must Be Cleansed

I honestly don’t know how any of us have survived.  Wojo pointed this out today and it reminds me just how much I hate the playoffs.

Since 2010, Detroit’s past 10 playoff losses have been by one goal.

That’s just disgusting.  As disgusting as a Wog? No, but close.

At least if we were Pens fans, our team would be getting blown out and the third periods wouldn’t be so painful.

There is no doubt that this one’s big on a Billy Baroo scale.  They’re not winning this thing after going down 1-3 and losing two straight on home ice.  The penalties have to stop. The pucks need to find space behind some Rinne ass and I’ve got to absolutely slaughter some slimey, motherfuching wogs.

Ah yes. For the first time in my Navy career, I’ve got a serious conflict between the playoffs and maritime tradition. 

We cross over into the Raging Main at first light and the cleansing will begin soon after.  More than a thousand Slimey Wogs infest this ship at the moment so it will be a long, torturous process…a process that will prevent me from even following along via the LB comments.  For the first time in more than twenty years, I’ll find out the score of a playoff game well after its completion.

This isn’t a Game 7 but it’s damn close.  Lose this one and we’ll be living by the sword and that’s not where Bullet Bob, King Neptune or Davey By God Jones wants us to be.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches and I’ll either be ravaging my way through the comments afterward or deleting them all in one big bitter fell swoop. Please baby Jesus. Please let it be the former.

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Comments

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ITDeuce's avatar

Good job Detroit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/18/12 at 12:15 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

urgency time yet?

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 04/18/12 at 12:15 AM ET

monkey's avatar

The Franzen Monster, also known as the Albino Bigfoot, is a legendary cryptid reported near the city of Detroit, MI, circa 2010,  where it was accused of lazily skating around local ice rinks. Initial sightings of the creature were concentrated in the Joe Louis Arena area, where it was blamed for the death of local morale, the loss of hope for future success, and a feeling of regret.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/18/12 at 12:15 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

why in the *#$%@& do they ALL pass the puck away when they have it in the slot?!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/17/12 at 10:15 PM ET

A goal from there just wouldn’t look pretty.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:16 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Hey, look….it’s going to be yet another 1-goal playoff loss.  Really appreciate you pointing that out, Chief.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/18/12 at 12:16 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

how can the coaches not be telling them that there’s nobody to pass to when 3 of them are within 5 feet of the puck?!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/18/12 at 12:16 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

fanned shots and missed nets.  the story of this game.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/18/12 at 12:17 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

Damn you Rinne.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/18/12 at 12:17 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

Nville with the time out they shouldn’t have after that first period icing delay.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 04/18/12 at 12:18 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

This is embarrassing.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 04/18/12 at 12:18 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

*#$%@& you Engblom.  You look like you’re coming out of the birth canal standing there.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/18/12 at 12:18 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

how can the coaches not be telling them that there’s nobody to pass to when 3 of them are within 5 feet of the puck?!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/17/12 at 10:16 PM ET

It’s like watching 5 years playing organized soccer.  Everyone runs for the ball at the same time, but in this case it’s a puck….and it’s grown men.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:18 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

The ice must be an inch lower than normal. Nothing else explains all these fanned shots.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 04/18/12 at 12:18 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Anyone else kinda wish this was a game 7?  I don’t think I really wanna watch any more of this shit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/18/12 at 12:19 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

5 year olds

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:19 AM ET

monkey's avatar

So much skill, so little motivation.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/18/12 at 12:20 AM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

It’s cool..this will go to OT..  Believe Believe Believe

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 04/18/12 at 12:20 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Ian White, is fuched up.  Yikes.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/18/12 at 12:21 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Game 7? You, sir, are an incurable optimist!

Posted by dougie on 04/18/12 at 12:21 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Anyone else kinda wish this was a game 7?  I don’t think I really wanna watch any more of this shit.

The only thing helping me keep it together at the moment is the prospect of the Pens getting knocked out first.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/18/12 at 12:21 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

We still could get a top 20 pick right?  Oh…., Quincey.  How did I forget about him.

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 04/18/12 at 12:21 AM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Pull Jimmah now.  Get the suffering over with.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/18/12 at 12:22 AM ET

Avatar

Have to admit, Preds want it more, much more.

Posted by Alex on 04/18/12 at 12:22 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

Nice shot, Hank.  It’s good to see you float to the boards even when you’re at the blue line.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:22 AM ET

monkey's avatar

We still could get a top 20 pick right?  Oh…., Quincey.  How did I forget about him.

True dat… the sooner we exit, the sooner we pick.  Why give the Pens that advantage?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/18/12 at 12:23 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Game 7? You, sir, are an incurable optimist!

Posted by dougie on 04/17/12 at 10:21 PM ET

LOL, you totally misunderstand.  I was just wishing this was over tonight.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/18/12 at 12:23 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

where is Nyquist?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/18/12 at 12:23 AM ET

Bent's avatar

So frustrating.  Wings dominated this game.  Two mistakes.  Both in the net, of course.  Rinne was never this elite goalie the wings have made him into these playoffs.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/18/12 at 12:23 AM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

PLEASE don’t put Hudler on the Ice..!!

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

Have to admit, Preds want it more, much more.

Posted by Alex on 04/17/12 at 10:22 PM ET

Preds slow played Detroit tonight.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Franzen better pull a Lang and score a stunner after loafing all game.

worst thing about Franzen - well second-worst behind his play - is that his huge contract means we’re stuck with him.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Jimmy headed to the showers, not optimistic

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

TPH = Invisible this series.

Posted by The Hurricane on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

monkey's avatar

Assholes.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/18/12 at 12:24 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

gorram it

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/18/12 at 12:25 AM ET

MarkK's avatar

Well… GFG

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/18/12 at 12:25 AM ET

scotts0's avatar

And there goes Hank’s revenge on Weber.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/18/12 at 12:25 AM ET

Bent's avatar

And that should do it.  In more ways than one.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/18/12 at 12:25 AM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Pathetic

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 04/18/12 at 12:25 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

*#$%@& this.  Off to say goodnight to the kids.  Night all.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/18/12 at 12:26 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com