Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

All Routes To Mankato Are Closed: There’s A Killer On The Road

"Little House" never scared me. Sure, when Mary went blind and that little skank Nellie started tricking on her 16th birthday? Disturbing.  But never scared, really.  It wasn't a scary show. It was family. It was Pa battling a few broken ribs to protect the clan from savage rats. It was Mr. Angel, wasted on corn whiskey but lovable. It was Albert with the lisp stoned to the bejesus belt on morphine up in the hay loft.

The Ingalls sisters stayed grounded.  And we loved them for it.  But they never had to deal with the likes of a really bad man. 

Well, tonite they do. Tonite, Little House is back in a stirring return on FS-Detroit, brought to you by the Bernstein Law Firm and that idiotic sports store who claims "the strike is over."  And don't you think for a second it's going to be all giggles and light. No.

The Ingalls sisters leave the innocence of Walnut Grove and travel east to the mean streets of Detroit. It's there that Mary and Laura, together again because they each have agents now, find out that the world can be much more cruel and sinister than just the leering gaze of Nels Olsen at the tail end of a barn dance.  Tonite, it's the Ingalls sisters battling a serial killer, a sociopath, a wacked out toothless bearded bastard who wreaked havoc in the Rockies ten years ago and hasn't stopped killing since.

Little Half Pint and her blind dimwitted sister Mary take to the ice in Detroit tonite, a place they could have called home had they not elected to live together in harmony and song for the rest of their Cup-less lives.

Bring it ladies.  Our Serial Killer awaits and his brain is squirming like a frigging toad.  It's a live blog, bitches.

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Comments

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RorSchach's avatar

Agreed Monkey.. That was not offside.. and what the fuch is going on? This is what two days off looks like?

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 07:56 PM ET

monkey's avatar

A clusterfuxh in the box.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 07:56 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

hooking? on who, Kat walked in front of the computer didn’t see. 

if we need a feline sacrifice, I have candidate.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 07:56 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Newsflash - - we suck

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Have the Wings won a face off yet?

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/25/13 at 07:58 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

5 on 3? We shall score.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 07:58 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Feline? Feline? We need a *#$%@& human sacrifice here. Call Bertuzzi.

5-3. Wild will score.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Wonder how we can fuch up a 5-3.

Im sure they will manage

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 07:58 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Pathetic

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/25/13 at 07:59 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Its so bad it is comical

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 07:59 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

don’t get cute ... just put it in the net

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 07:59 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Wonder how we can fuch up a 5-3.

A shorty maybe?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I can remember when I used to look forward to the PP.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Ancient Aliens looking better and better.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

This is fuching sad..

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Pathetic

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Well that was futile

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

My GOD

THEY WONT EVEN SHOOT

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

monkey's avatar

0 shots.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

Avatar

Wow, how bad did Zetterberg look during that 5 on 3?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 08:01 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

did we even have a shot on goal on that 5 on 3? oh one

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 08:01 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

I can remember when I used to look forward to the PP.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 08:00 PM ET

It’s fading rapidly, although I do recall sometime last decade…

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/25/13 at 08:01 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Wow, how bad did Zetterberg look during that 5 on 3?

Very.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Thank you Bert

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I don’t think I can continue to watch this.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I wonder if the Wings played the whole game with a five on three advantage if they could even manage 20 shots for the whole game.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

Avatar

Smart play Clearly.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

calquake's avatar

did we even have a shot on goal on that 5 on 3?

The Wings had one… I downed at least three.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 08:02 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

PK of death, act III

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

WTF - - I understand no talent.

I do not understand no effort.

W
T
F

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

and the parade to the box continues!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Fire them all. Rofl.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

No wonder the wings are gonna be awful, the NHL is not hockey it’s just a game of power plays. I’m embarrassed for the sport right now.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

stupid

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

would one even get drunk if we slammed on every shot the wings took?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 08:03 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I wonder if the Wings played the whole game with a five on three advantage if they could even manage 20 shots for the whole game.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 08:04 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

GeezusPhuck Cleary

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 08:04 PM ET

monkey's avatar

No.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/25/13 at 08:04 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

This is painful to watch.  How far we have fallen.

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 01/25/13 at 08:04 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

(MOST OF) THE WINGS PLAYERS ARE BETTER THAN THIS.  I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SEEING.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 08:05 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com