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Abel to Yzerman

All Routes To Mankato Are Closed: There’s A Killer On The Road

"Little House" never scared me. Sure, when Mary went blind and that little skank Nellie started tricking on her 16th birthday? Disturbing.  But never scared, really.  It wasn't a scary show. It was family. It was Pa battling a few broken ribs to protect the clan from savage rats. It was Mr. Angel, wasted on corn whiskey but lovable. It was Albert with the lisp stoned to the bejesus belt on morphine up in the hay loft.

The Ingalls sisters stayed grounded.  And we loved them for it.  But they never had to deal with the likes of a really bad man. 

Well, tonite they do. Tonite, Little House is back in a stirring return on FS-Detroit, brought to you by the Bernstein Law Firm and that idiotic sports store who claims "the strike is over."  And don't you think for a second it's going to be all giggles and light. No.

The Ingalls sisters leave the innocence of Walnut Grove and travel east to the mean streets of Detroit. It's there that Mary and Laura, together again because they each have agents now, find out that the world can be much more cruel and sinister than just the leering gaze of Nels Olsen at the tail end of a barn dance.  Tonite, it's the Ingalls sisters battling a serial killer, a sociopath, a wacked out toothless bearded bastard who wreaked havoc in the Rockies ten years ago and hasn't stopped killing since.

Little Half Pint and her blind dimwitted sister Mary take to the ice in Detroit tonite, a place they could have called home had they not elected to live together in harmony and song for the rest of their Cup-less lives.

Bring it ladies.  Our Serial Killer awaits and his brain is squirming like a frigging toad.  It's a live blog, bitches.

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Comments

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WestWing's avatar

Bert Uzi!!!  With a sweet setup from #13

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Killer.. With Pasha Magic

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Bert UZZI!!!!!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

WOW

Magic - - to Bert-Uzi

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Boom.  Magic.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Did Bert give him a kiss?

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

oh man. killer with 2

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

BERT

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 10:42 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

PASHA to BERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 10:43 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Pasha is a witch

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/25/13 at 10:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bert-Uzi !


Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/25/13 at 10:43 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Nice hustle Lashoff.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/25/13 at 10:43 PM ET

Brooklyn Deuce's avatar

I’m done expecting failure from the Red Wings so long as Pasha rules the ice.

Posted by Brooklyn Deuce from Fauborg Marigny on 01/25/13 at 10:44 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Pasha is a witch

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 01/25/13 at 09:43 PM ET

That must mean he floats in water.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 10:44 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

that was a disgusting pass.

nasty lucky charms

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 10:44 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

They ought to be chanting for Dats

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/25/13 at 10:44 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Bert!!!!

Posted by MoreShoot on 01/25/13 at 10:44 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Turn Smith loose kid got wheels

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

What a shift

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Just got home, what did I miss?

/checks score/

whoa! Other than the score, how are we doing?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Bert Uzi just about gave it back. Sheesh.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

4:18 Unknown goal (Unassisted)

hahahhahaha

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

I told you bitches the Killer was back.  Jerry Lee Bertuzzi.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/25/13 at 10:45 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

I love that tootoo kid.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:46 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

4:18 T. Bertuzzi goal (Assists: P. Datsyuk, V. Filppula)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 10:46 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

mick with the chuckle ... love it

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 10:46 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

What a saucer pass. Don’t kiss him Bert. We don’t know what funky virus you may pass on.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/25/13 at 10:46 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Jerry Lee Bertuzzi.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/25/13 at 09:45 PM ET

Hell, I’d let him marry my 13 year old cousin.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 10:46 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

4:18 Unknown goal (Unassisted)

I guess that’s what happens when The Prince of Darkness scores a goal.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 10:47 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

OMG Herm you are the luckiest man on the planet

first period was atrocious.  so was most of the second.  we were all putting together plans for a mass suicide into the Detroit River.  seriously.  it was horrid.  then Brunner.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 10:47 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 10:47 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Rofl Cal.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:48 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Missed it by that much

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 10:50 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Let Bert uzi kiss em all. He playing with swag

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:50 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Bert is in the House! Ha

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 10:50 PM ET

Joe Z.'s avatar

#44 looks like he’s 10 years younger and 5 years more experienced than last season.

Posted by Joe Z. from Austria on 01/25/13 at 10:50 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

go Sparty

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 10:51 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Is that the first time Gator has been on top?

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 10:51 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Go ABBY

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 10:52 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Bert getting double shifted

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 10:53 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com