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Abel to Yzerman

All Routes To Mankato Are Closed: There’s A Killer On The Road

"Little House" never scared me. Sure, when Mary went blind and that little skank Nellie started tricking on her 16th birthday? Disturbing.  But never scared, really.  It wasn't a scary show. It was family. It was Pa battling a few broken ribs to protect the clan from savage rats. It was Mr. Angel, wasted on corn whiskey but lovable. It was Albert with the lisp stoned to the bejesus belt on morphine up in the hay loft.

The Ingalls sisters stayed grounded.  And we loved them for it.  But they never had to deal with the likes of a really bad man. 

Well, tonite they do. Tonite, Little House is back in a stirring return on FS-Detroit, brought to you by the Bernstein Law Firm and that idiotic sports store who claims "the strike is over."  And don't you think for a second it's going to be all giggles and light. No.

The Ingalls sisters leave the innocence of Walnut Grove and travel east to the mean streets of Detroit. It's there that Mary and Laura, together again because they each have agents now, find out that the world can be much more cruel and sinister than just the leering gaze of Nels Olsen at the tail end of a barn dance.  Tonite, it's the Ingalls sisters battling a serial killer, a sociopath, a wacked out toothless bearded bastard who wreaked havoc in the Rockies ten years ago and hasn't stopped killing since.

Little Half Pint and her blind dimwitted sister Mary take to the ice in Detroit tonite, a place they could have called home had they not elected to live together in harmony and song for the rest of their Cup-less lives.

Bring it ladies.  Our Serial Killer awaits and his brain is squirming like a frigging toad.  It's a live blog, bitches.

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Comments

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tkfergy's avatar

1 for 18… better than last year…

Posted by tkfergy on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

What is happening?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

OMG. What the hell. YES!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

WTF?

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Hell has officially frozen over!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

killer!

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

Avatar

What the hell was said in the room during intermission?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Wait.  What the fuch just happened?  What is this new concept of shooting at the net?  You mean that’s how you score goals?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

B-Runner

or

Brew-Ner

?

doesn’t matter ... SCORE grin

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

tkfergy's avatar

How long before the massive breakdown in defense?

Posted by tkfergy on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Killer with the knee!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

So f’n confused right now.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

lol clear it out BERT!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

PK of death act iv

Where’s my iv?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

0:13 D. Brunner goal (Assists: H. Zetterberg, N. Kronwall)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:38 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Theres a killer on the road

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Hey, team leaders in shots get the goals, imagine that.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Flips it in off #44!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Really Kronner? What a dumbass.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I bet Minny shoots on their 5-3

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

That bitch went down easy.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

calquake's avatar

How long before the massive breakdown in defense?

Posted by tkfergy on 01/25/13 at 08:38 PM ET

That didn’t take long.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:39 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

0:55 T. Bertuzzi goal (Assists: V. Filppula, B. Smith)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

My God who is this team we are watching that commits so many penalties?  We are used to them being the least penalized in the league.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Say Hello to Jimmeh’s DONG!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I love the Lashoff kid.

Keep him, for gawds sake

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Like what I see from #23

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

JIMMAH!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 09:40 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lashoff. Me likey.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/25/13 at 09:41 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Q on the ice for 5 on 3… um yeah.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 09:41 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

See - -

Minny does shoot on their PP - - it helps to score

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:42 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Douche-boi with a goal.  Fuch me.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:42 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Gee… I didn’t see that one coming.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Ugh!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/25/13 at 09:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

How many offsides is that just tonight?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:43 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

That’s a Tigers blog?  I’ll have to check it out.  mlive is pretty bland but does have some dedicated Tigers fans.

Yeah, Bless You Boys is probably the closest thing to this zoo for Tiger fans.  Not quite as much fun, but the LBs are a lot of fun.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:43 PM ET

calquake's avatar

How many offsides is that just tonight?

Too many by my count.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:43 PM ET

tkfergy's avatar

How many offsides is that just tonight?

By my count 6 or 7

Posted by tkfergy on 01/25/13 at 09:44 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Nice Yak - - good grief

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:44 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Good to see the refs cracking down on the dives.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/25/13 at 09:44 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com