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Abel to Yzerman

All Routes To Mankato Are Closed: There’s A Killer On The Road

"Little House" never scared me. Sure, when Mary went blind and that little skank Nellie started tricking on her 16th birthday? Disturbing.  But never scared, really.  It wasn't a scary show. It was family. It was Pa battling a few broken ribs to protect the clan from savage rats. It was Mr. Angel, wasted on corn whiskey but lovable. It was Albert with the lisp stoned to the bejesus belt on morphine up in the hay loft.

The Ingalls sisters stayed grounded.  And we loved them for it.  But they never had to deal with the likes of a really bad man. 

Well, tonite they do. Tonite, Little House is back in a stirring return on FS-Detroit, brought to you by the Bernstein Law Firm and that idiotic sports store who claims "the strike is over."  And don't you think for a second it's going to be all giggles and light. No.

The Ingalls sisters leave the innocence of Walnut Grove and travel east to the mean streets of Detroit. It's there that Mary and Laura, together again because they each have agents now, find out that the world can be much more cruel and sinister than just the leering gaze of Nels Olsen at the tail end of a barn dance.  Tonite, it's the Ingalls sisters battling a serial killer, a sociopath, a wacked out toothless bearded bastard who wreaked havoc in the Rockies ten years ago and hasn't stopped killing since.

Little Half Pint and her blind dimwitted sister Mary take to the ice in Detroit tonite, a place they could have called home had they not elected to live together in harmony and song for the rest of their Cup-less lives.

Bring it ladies.  Our Serial Killer awaits and his brain is squirming like a frigging toad.  It's a live blog, bitches.

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Comments

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MoreShoot's avatar

I have never said this: they are unwatchable. (Seth Jones is in the conversation)

Posted by MoreShoot on 01/25/13 at 09:21 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

SOG 11-6, just sharing.

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 09:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So I guess we need youtube links to watch future red wings, or go to GR to watch some games.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:21 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

whats the definition of “Ripe” some one that can skate, defend the net, pass the puck and shoot a goal into the opponents net?  Because maybe some of the Wings are “overly Ripe” ???

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 09:23 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

SOG 11-6, just sharing.

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 01/25/13 at 08:21 PM ET

I was just going to say, without looking at stats I would say Bertuzzi leads the team in shots on goal.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:23 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So I guess we need youtube links to watch future red wings, or go to GR to watch some games.

Meanwhile we can all sit back and watch the slow death spiral of the 2013 Detroit Red Wings.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:23 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Only if there are injuries.

is it wrong to hope that ‘he who shall not be named’ goes down with groin pull, or deep bone bruise?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:23 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Mule is the biggest invisible man ever

The guys out with injury have had their names called more often tonight.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:24 PM ET

Brooklyn Deuce's avatar

So ... Been years of this effort and lack of confidence. I’ve always been an Uncle Mike guy ... But now?

This team looks like it needs a lot of changes.

Posted by Brooklyn Deuce from Fauborg Marigny on 01/25/13 at 09:24 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Meanwhile we can all sit back and watch the slow death spiral of the 2013 Detroit Red Wings.

spiral?  a stone doesn’t spiral on its way to the bottom.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 09:25 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

As we’re looking at the shortest of short seasons in hockey, if you are a Tiger fan, mlive does a decent LB for Tigers games.

Decent, lacks the disturbed and offensive humor we are accustomed to here, but is decent.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:25 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Meanwhile we can all sit back and watch the slow death spiral of the 2013 Detroit Red Wings.

I’m not anti death spiral mind you, but slow death spirals are so damn time-consuming.  Anyway they can hurry this along?  I got shit to do.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:25 PM ET

calquake's avatar

a stone doesn’t spiral on its way to the bottom.

True dat.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:26 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Bless you boys is pretty good too

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/25/13 at 09:26 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FakgPTWQ3To
Jurco. 2 goals in 10 seconds.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:26 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Seriously, I wonder if Woody Harrelson shot a movie in Finland 20 years ago?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:26 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I know most of the game has been played in our end,

but do any of you bitches remember DET even having 1 good scoring chance
(it sure as well wasnt on the 5-3, as they didnt even bother to shoot the *#$%@& puck)

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:28 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 08:25 PM ET

I’m a Tiger lifer who used to routinely say “Is it October yet?” for all the wrong reasons.  The roles are now reversed.  Up is down and down is up.  Is it April yet?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:28 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Just looking at the Rookie Scoreboard on NHL Network.  You can’t convince me all those guys are better than Nyquil, Sauce (Tatar), Pulkinen, Jurco et all.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:29 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I feel like playing Call of Duty during intermission so at least somebody will be shooting something.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 08:17 PM ET

ah
I see now

Pronoun trouble.

It’s not: “He doesn’t have to shoot *you* now.” It’s: “He doesn’t have to shoot *me* now.” Well, I say he does have to shoot me now!

So shoot me now!

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 09:31 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

What a steaming pile of shit this team has been so far this season.

No hustle, no confidence, no clue.

Total clusterfuch

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:32 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Just looking at the Rookie Scoreboard on NHL Network.  You can’t convince me all those guys are better than Nyquil, Sauce (Tatar), Pulkinen, Jurco et all.

Unfortunately you’re not the guy we need to convince.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:32 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Bless you boys is pretty good too

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/25/13 at 08:26 PM ET

That’s a Tigers blog?  I’ll have to check it out.  mlive is pretty bland but does have some dedicated Tigers fans.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:32 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

So shoot me now!

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 08:31 PM ET

Best Looney Toons ever.  Unlike the comedy of errors known as the 2013 Wings.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:33 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

This reminds me of last season when both Lidstrom and Datsyuk were out hurt.  Only there is nothing to look forward to.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:34 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

do not what this game would look like if not for jimmy

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Rw… It is a tiger blog… The lbs arw a riot and the site is pretty active

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/25/13 at 09:34 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Enjoy the game - - sadist commentator

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

oh boy here we go again.

PP time remaining!  YaY!!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

Avatar

OMG!!!!!!

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

scooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor…..

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Brunner with a rocket.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Holy Hell - - a PP goal

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Best Looney Toons ever.  Unlike the comedy of errors known as the 2013 Wings.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Looking for a “D” man on 01/25/13 at 08:33 PM ET

You’re despicable!!

game on

B RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNER

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Brunner! A Power Play Goal!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

TEMO's avatar

I just had a Man-gasm!

Posted by TEMO from LANSING, MICHIGAN, U.S.A. on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

What a snap shot….atta kid Brunner

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Mule with a shot too - - shocking

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

so when does murph ditch the clark kent look?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:36 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

ok fans everytime he touches the puck i wanna hear “BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” lets get somethin goin!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/25/13 at 09:37 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com