Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

All Routes To Mankato Are Closed: There’s A Killer On The Road

"Little House" never scared me. Sure, when Mary went blind and that little skank Nellie started tricking on her 16th birthday? Disturbing.  But never scared, really.  It wasn't a scary show. It was family. It was Pa battling a few broken ribs to protect the clan from savage rats. It was Mr. Angel, wasted on corn whiskey but lovable. It was Albert with the lisp stoned to the bejesus belt on morphine up in the hay loft.

The Ingalls sisters stayed grounded.  And we loved them for it.  But they never had to deal with the likes of a really bad man. 

Well, tonite they do. Tonite, Little House is back in a stirring return on FS-Detroit, brought to you by the Bernstein Law Firm and that idiotic sports store who claims "the strike is over."  And don't you think for a second it's going to be all giggles and light. No.

The Ingalls sisters leave the innocence of Walnut Grove and travel east to the mean streets of Detroit. It's there that Mary and Laura, together again because they each have agents now, find out that the world can be much more cruel and sinister than just the leering gaze of Nels Olsen at the tail end of a barn dance.  Tonite, it's the Ingalls sisters battling a serial killer, a sociopath, a wacked out toothless bearded bastard who wreaked havoc in the Rockies ten years ago and hasn't stopped killing since.

Little Half Pint and her blind dimwitted sister Mary take to the ice in Detroit tonite, a place they could have called home had they not elected to live together in harmony and song for the rest of their Cup-less lives.

Bring it ladies.  Our Serial Killer awaits and his brain is squirming like a frigging toad.  It's a live blog, bitches.

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Comments

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RWBill's avatar

This much can be said,

Helm makes a difference.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 09:05 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Damn Q made a good play - - two good plays- - pinch me

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:05 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

would one even get drunk if we slammed on every shot the wings took?

If we downed one for every goal it would be far more effective than a 12-step program.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:05 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Just start trading people.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:05 PM ET

Avatar

You’d think it wouldn’t take much to show something as simple as time left on the power play.  Thanks for the suck NHL Network.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 09:06 PM ET

monkey's avatar

You’d think it wouldn’t take much to show something as simple as time left on the power play.  Thanks for the suck NHL Network

Agreed.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Ok back to basics…..
Wings -You are playing Ice Hockey - by definition- “a game played on an ice rink in which two teams of six players on skates use curved sticks to try to shoot a puck into the opponent’s goal”

So Put the Puck In the Oponents NET -  Thank You!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

oh joy! something happened and XM is half a second ahead of the game. almost perfect!

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Yeah I was wondering what happened to the FSD Penalty clock and realized it had been replaced by NHL, Inc.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

offsides that arent offsides, penalties a plenty. NHL - we call everything!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

monkey's avatar

All they have to do is use the FSD score bar.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:07 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

You’d think it wouldn’t take much to show something as simple as time left on the power play.  Thanks for the suck NHL Network.

The NHL with a sort of fecal midas touch.  Everything it touches turns to shit.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:08 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

We suck -  - have no confidence, playing tentative and with not a whole lot of effort

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:08 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Whatever happened to just shooting? Just.. Shoot.. The.. Puck.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:08 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

It’s time to send put Cleary down.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/25/13 at 09:09 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Speaking of Fins, can’t we take a look at Teemu Pulkinen?

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 09:10 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Whatever happened to just shooting?

It’s time to send put Cleary down.


Why do these two posts seem related to me?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

fecal midas touch

This explains how Detroit is playing.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:11 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Speaking of Fins, can’t we take a look at Teemu Pulkinen?

YouTube.  Beyond that, I got nothing.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:11 PM ET

calquake's avatar

We all know the defense is going to struggle but did anyone foresee the offense, or lack thereof, as being so anemic?

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:12 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Looking a lot like the STL game. 

Losing puck battles - - and being badly outshot (11-6)

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:12 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

(MOST OF) THE WINGS PLAYERS ARE BETTER THAN THIS.  I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SEEING.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 09:13 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Whatever happened to Tomas Jurco?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:13 PM ET

Avatar

Kindl seems to be playing with little bite tonight.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/25/13 at 09:13 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Whatever happened to Tomas Jurco?

Also available on YouTube.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:14 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

did anyone foresee the offense, or lack thereof, as being so anemic?

no, no i did not.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/25/13 at 09:14 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Jurco plays third line in Grand Rapids.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:14 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Whatever happened to Tomas Jurco?

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 01/25/13 at 08:13 PM ET

Not ripe enough.  At least 5 years before we see him.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/25/13 at 09:15 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Nooo, don’t send them to a PP

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:15 PM ET

monkey's avatar

We all know the defense is going to struggle but did anyone foresee the offense, or lack thereof, as being so anemic?

With Nick, everything ran through the defense. They don’t appear to have changed this system, yet they have no one capable of running it.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/25/13 at 09:15 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Woody Harrelson or Teemu Pulkinen?

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 09:16 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Whatever happened to Tomas Jurco?


Not ripe enough.  At least 5 years before we see him.

He should be ready for some serious third or fourth line minutes by then.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 09:16 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

tHAT wAS eNTERTAINING

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:17 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

rolleyes

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/25/13 at 09:17 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

O.M.G. Bill. That’s fuching funny.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/25/13 at 09:17 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I feel like playing Call of Duty during intermission so at least somebody will be shooting something.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/25/13 at 09:17 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 01/25/13 at 08:15 PM ET

I totally agree.  However that doesn’t explain the total lack of puck possession in the O-zone.

Posted by calquake on 01/25/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

For reasons I dont understand, 

Mule is the biggest invisible man ever

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/25/13 at 09:19 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

tHANKS nhl nETWORK.  i’M SO HAPPY THAT THE FIRST THING YOU SHOWED ME WHEN i SWITCHED BACK WAS…that

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/25/13 at 09:20 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Whatever happened to Tomas Jurco?


Not ripe enough.  At least 5 years before we see him.

He should be ready for some serious third or fourth line minutes by then.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/25/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Only if there are injuries.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/25/13 at 09:21 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com