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Abel to Yzerman

All Is Well…Gary Says The Playoffs Start Tonite

In a stunning decision from the NHL front office in Pittsburgh, midget commissioner Gary.Ass Bettman announced just moments ago that Sidney Crosby has been named Cosmopolitan Magazine's Man of the Decade and that the NHL playoffs will start this evening. First round matchups will be announced thirty minutes before game times.  If any visiting team can't make it to their scheduled game, that round will be postponed until the new glossy Crosby posters have been completely reviewed in Bettman's private office, with soft lighting.

None of that is true, except the part about Bettman being a midget, the Cosmo award for Rosby, the poster thing and the soft lighting.  So, the playoffs aren't really starting tonite.

But if they were?

The Wings would be playing Vancouver.  Is that some sort of crazy-ass coincidence or what?

Nuts.

Two of them. If Luongo has those, he's in tonite because of the violation Detroit levied upon him the last time out.

Whatever. The Wings, because they did last night, can score on the power play, win on the road and profess allegiance to their coach.

It's a late one and I'm guessing, maybe, two of you are sober. Have at it, by god.  It's a Live Blog, bitches. 

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Comments

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Hootinani's avatar

Wonder if someone will say tomorrow that the Nucks handed the Wings this game?

Posted by calquake on 03/17/13 at 12:26 AM ET

Lets just hope they cant say the opposite

Posted by Hootinani on 03/17/13 at 12:27 AM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Need to get Hank a Trick

Posted by MoreShoot on 03/17/13 at 12:27 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Fall down , draw penalty.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/17/13 at 12:27 AM ET

Riviera's avatar

Damn it.

Posted by Riviera from Phoenix on 03/17/13 at 12:28 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Fuch.  Sphincter squeezers time

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/17/13 at 12:28 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Datsyuk is in a league of his own. No room for Crosby in Pavs league.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/17/13 at 12:28 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Yikes.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/17/13 at 12:29 AM ET

NIVO's avatar

whats that called when a submarine goes underwater?

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/17/13 at 12:29 AM ET

calquake's avatar

“I’ve got diamonds in the soles of my shoes”.

Posted by calquake on 03/17/13 at 12:29 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Fall down , draw penalty.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/17/13 at 12:27 AM ET

cANUCKS DIVING?  nEVER111

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/17/13 at 12:29 AM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Time for a renewed drinking effort

Posted by Hootinani on 03/17/13 at 12:29 AM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

STONES

Posted by MoreShoot on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Nice work on that kill.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

Hootinani's avatar

good hustle from E

Posted by Hootinani on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

calquake's avatar

BRAVO!

Posted by calquake on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Wow.  Well done!!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

It can’t be that difficult to NOT lift the puck 15 feet over the glass.

Things happen fast, puck on edge.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/17/13 at 12:31 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Killed that bitch!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

kilt em

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Oh come on.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

NIVO's avatar

horseshit!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Nucks are diving all over the place

Posted by Hootinani on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Bull fuching shit.

That’s a damn goal

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/17/13 at 12:32 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

And here is the gratuitous 5 on 3. Just knew this was comming.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/17/13 at 12:33 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Review.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/17/13 at 12:33 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

that looked in from my biased wing fan perspective

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/17/13 at 12:33 AM ET

calquake's avatar

No goal because the dick in stripes says so.

Posted by calquake on 03/17/13 at 12:33 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

I think dats may have finally figured out how to use gator. Pylon for the win.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/17/13 at 12:34 AM ET

Bent's avatar

That’s a goal.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/17/13 at 12:34 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

The goaltender and the puck both in the net.  Ref says “no goal”.  I used to be amazed by the incompetence of these ass clowns.  These days I merely shrug.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/17/13 at 12:34 AM ET

Riviera's avatar

That’s a goal.

Posted by Riviera from Phoenix on 03/17/13 at 12:35 AM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

That’s a goal!

Posted by MoreShoot on 03/17/13 at 12:35 AM ET

Hootinani's avatar

that looked in from my biased wing fan perspective

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 03/17/13 at 12:33 AM ET

That is the preferred perspective for the locale

Posted by Hootinani on 03/17/13 at 12:35 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

That’s a fuching goal!!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

abby’s 2nd of the night?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

NIVO's avatar

YAAAAAAAAAAAAA i knew it was horseshit, bout time they got one right

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

peiz11's avatar

Congrats to Babcock really for being a genius. Days yuk finally figured out how to score with such talent on his line.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Thought they were going to lose that to intent to blow

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Yay goal!  Wow, when was the last time a call went their way on a review like that?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

No goal because Detroit is not allowed 5 in Vancouver.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/17/13 at 12:36 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com