Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 03/29/14 at 04:20 PM ET
He was a little too tall and he was most definitely wasted. He could have used a few pounds back then, but he's made up for it in beer weight since the Wings grabbed him in the spring of '97.
For two years in Toronto, Larry Murphy wasted away in a puddle of his own mediocre feces. He was jeered because Leaf fans had forgotten by then what a winner looked like. 151 regular season games played in front of the worst fair-weather fans in hockey history. 6 playoff games is what he tallied for Toronto, two of them wins.
Then, with the snap of a finger and a flash of Ilitch cash, he was headed to South Detroit, where the winners live.
Over the course of the next two playoff years, Larry Murphy played 42 games, winning 32 of them, along with two Cups. He drank beer during press conferences, fed Nick Lidstrom slick little bullets along the blue line and watched as he poured them into net after net.
Playoff wins, Cups, parades, puppies and hookers. Murph had it all in Detroit. All of it. And they watched him in Toronto and twisted their little cold, bitter lips into angry, angst-filled grimaces. They watched and watched as year after year the Wings kept coming. Deep runs. Cups. More parades. Swedes in Novi, parties on the river. Fire trucks. Yoohoo. Cheddar. First pitches at Tiger games because that's what winners do.
And still they watched in Toronto. Coach after coach. Choke after choke. Not even a sniff while the Wings just kept coming.
You think they hate the Wings in St. Louis, in piss-ant Denver? Nashville? You don't know the bitter stench of jealousy until you've been in Toronto in May.
Larry Murphy was a Leaf once, but they dealt him to Detroit and watched him start a dynasty. I have to believe that's a story best untold to the darling little doves come bed time in Ontario.
Naturally, he stayed in Detroit, because winners don't leave the Wings. He stayed then retired. Took a job babbling between the benches, then the Wings let him go and we know that story, too. Too many pops, probably. And we dig that. We do.
Now? Murph would probably man the point on our second power play. That's how bad the injuries are. But I won't rehash it. I haven't been here to suffer through it like the rest of you, so I have no right to whine. I just know what is real. And what's real is that this team has no business being where they are. This team, should have been eliminated the minute Sochi sunk its Putin-smeared teeth into Hank.
If Toronto had the injuries Detroit does now? They'd be getting their asses kicked by Bay City John Glenn, instead of clutching the final spot with less than ten left.
But we're not Toronto. Tomorrow they'll wake to their 8th straight loss. Us? We'll wake tonite, after too many warm PBRs and a big Wing win, to the sound of thunder. Southern Michigan summer time is not far off. Puppies, children laughing, green grass and the playoffs await for us? The Leafs? The chill will remain because baby Jesus likes it that way, and so does Murph.
This might as well be the playoffs. You know it and so do I. I'm back for this one, and maybe a few more. We'll see. Whore style.
It's a Live Blog, bitches.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org