Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

12 Hours Out Of Mackinaw City, I Stopped To Have Myself A Bru-In

None of you have been able to really enjoy an Easter in close to 25 years.  Blame the Red Wings for that.  While fans of other teams have stress-free holidays every other year or so?  

You dip your Easter eggs in cheap booze and wait for the puck to drop. 

Today will be tougher.  While the odds of winning Game 1 were low, taking this one is even more unlikely.  You're already girding yourselves.  Once the slaphappiness of Game 1 wore off, you went into a mode we're all too familiar with.  You banished the thoughts of a 2-0 lead.  Oh, they creep in but you bat them away like gnats flitting around a scab on the knee of a Blues fan after a trip through the gutter during a losing bout with Mad Dog on a Tuesday afternoon. 

Like me, you're already thinking, "Golly it's going to be good to go back to the Joe tied at 1."  You have to think that way because it's how we preserve our sanity.  It's a defense mechanism we've honed.  

1. We're steeling ourselves should evil creep in.  Protecting our fragile psyches in the event of a loss.

2. We go into games like this expecting the worst.  We expect Glenn Close to boil the rabbit today.  Of course she will. She's bat-shit crazy. She's going to boil the rabbit and then we're going to have to find a way to kill her before she ruins the rest of this beautiful Spring. 

Only you and I understand that talking about boiling rabbits on Easter is perfectly acceptable.  Many millions of people would find that offensive and, worse, irrelevant.  Not us. You understand that we can't think about a 2-0 lead over a 1 seed.  You and I get it.  We will not allow ourselves that kind of hope, because when you hope you set yourself up for bad visions, the ones Shooter talks about in the hospital, just a day before Chitwood sinks that jumper. 

Don't even think of the insanity at the Joe on Tuesday should the Wings come home after having "stolen" the first two.  Don't.  You must guard your optimism. Swaddle it. Hide it. 1-1 is perfectly acceptable. It's what we wanted. It's all we asked for and now we have it. Take one of the first two and claim home ice.  

Don't be greedy.  Why should we expect more than anyone else? Nobody in the history of hockey would ever expect to go into a 1 seed's building and take the first two.  You know that's true, so why should we be the ones who expect a miracle like that?

Because we're Wing fans, that's why.  When you're a Wing fan, greed is good.  Excess is expected. Parades are the norm. Cups are ours to be had, recaptured. 8 seed? Screw your 8 seed. 

2-0 at the Joe. That's the goal. That's the expectation. Speed and smarts are better than brawn and stupidity. 

It's a live blog, bitches.  Temper yourselves, but, by god, expect the best because these are the Detroit MF'ing Red Wings. 

15 to 12. 

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Comments

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42jeff's avatar

Hellz yes Chief!

LGRW!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/20/14 at 12:24 PM ET

WingFanFormerlyInLA's avatar

Was awesome winning game 1 in their barn, I’m very anxious to watch this battle today.

Posted by WingFanFormerlyInLA on 04/20/14 at 12:34 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Speed and smarts are better than braun and stupidity.

ezatlee

thanks, Chief.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/20/14 at 12:35 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Just. Win.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/20/14 at 12:36 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Just a guess here, but my take on the Booins adjustments for today. Based on our speed I think they will lay off and pull back 3 to stand us up at the blueline. In turn, it will make us play a dump and chase game in which they will crash us in the corners(or attempt to). Be interesting to see how we counter. Either way im looking forward to todays game. The swagger is wafting through the air. It permeates it heavily. Can you smell what the Kids are cooking?

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 04/20/14 at 01:11 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Jimmy must still another… I don’t know if you guys know this but he had a SO in game 1…

Posted by pgoody on 04/20/14 at 01:29 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

NIVO, I doubt they would give us the neutral zone, like that. Not a good move against a puck-possession team, I think

I just hope no one dies today, because if the wings get ahead on this game, I fear they will really come after our heads, literally

LGRW!!!

Posted by Zqto on 04/20/14 at 01:31 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

I fear they will really come after our heads, literally

With Lucic the taint samurai out there, its not their heads they need to worry about.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/20/14 at 01:36 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Have the words “taint” and “samurai” ever been used side by side in a sentence before?
In any language? In the history of mankind?

Posted by dougie on 04/20/14 at 01:40 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

I just hope no one dies today, because if the wings get ahead on this game, I fear they will really come after our heads, literally

LGRW!!!

Posted by Zqto on 04/20/14 at 02:31 PM ET

I heard Lucic has pictures of all the Redwings player’s groins posted in his locker as… motivation…

 

Posted by pgoody on 04/20/14 at 01:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

1. We’re steeling ourselves should evil creep in.

You know me so well it’s scary.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/20/14 at 01:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Wear stainless steel cups today boys, and Kevlar helmets. 
It only costs $5000 to strike someone in the nuts to end his season and win the series, so that’s an inexpensive path to victory.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/20/14 at 01:52 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

15 to 12.

Whatever it takes to win the Playoffs. Thanks, Master Chief.

Let’s Roll!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/20/14 at 01:55 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I hear Loosic got an endorsement deal with CCM for a Nardmaster 2000 stick.

Looking for a lot of thuggery today. 

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 04/20/14 at 01:56 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmy must still another… I don’t know if you guys know this but he had a SO in game 1…

Posted by pgoody on 04/20/14 at 02:29 PM ET


I don’t even know if a Shut. Whore. Mouth. is gonna wash that one. wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/20/14 at 01:56 PM ET

joedaiceman's avatar

Greed rules and it will always be thus

Posted by joedaiceman on 04/20/14 at 01:59 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Oh, they creep in but you bat them away like gnats flitting around a scab on the knee of a Blues fan after a trip through the gutter during a losing bout with Mad Dog on a Tuesday afternoon.

You know, Hemingway, Faulkner, none of those rubes got anything on you Chief.  Welcome home, I love the smell of the Hasek in full playoff mode.

Posted by calquake on 04/20/14 at 02:03 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Hope the boys can steal another one today.

My suspicion is there will be way more penalties today, which means the PK will be tested.

Posted by Down River Dan on 04/20/14 at 02:05 PM ET

Alan's avatar

16 to 12. LGRW

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/20/14 at 02:07 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Fuch. Edzo in the house.

Posted by SK77 on 04/20/14 at 02:10 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Oh No… Oldick. confused

Posted by calquake on 04/20/14 at 02:10 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Greetings bitches. I wouldn’t want to spend Easter anywhere else but with my fake friends.

Who are the refs today ?  Edsuk having a hard time complementing us. Suck it   LGRW

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 04/20/14 at 02:10 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

just got done with the pre-game vomitting ritual, let’s do this!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/20/14 at 02:11 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Considering I almost put a bottle through the TV yesterday listening to Asshat Edzo call the St. Louis / Chicago game, this might not go so well.

Posted by SK77 on 04/20/14 at 02:13 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

other than Pasha’s goal being the game winner,

(which, make no mistake, was obviously huge),

watching ‘no-wrist candidate’ Charahahahahaha fall on his daireeair is just funny

LOL

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/20/14 at 02:13 PM ET

calquake's avatar

just got done with the pre-game vomitting ritual, let’s do this!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/20/14 at 03:11 PM ET

Forgot to tell everyone, we just added a Vomitorium to the Hasek for this years playoffs so… spew away.

Posted by calquake on 04/20/14 at 02:13 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

You related to Glen Hall WW? That’s what he used to do before every game.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 04/20/14 at 02:14 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Afternoon, bitches, the bar is open.  What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/20/14 at 02:17 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

You related to Glen Hall WW? That’s what he used to do before every game.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 04/20/14 at 03:14 PM ET

I actually patterned my pre-game vomitting ritual after Roger Crozier

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/20/14 at 02:17 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Is FSD doing it at all?

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/20/14 at 02:18 PM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

Why oh why do I still try to explain all of this to my wonderful wife?

Posted by Rdwings28 on 04/20/14 at 02:18 PM ET

SYF's avatar

‘Sup, Sailor. 

While the odds of winning Game 1 were low, taking this one is even more unlikely.

I like those odds.

Go Wings.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/20/14 at 02:18 PM ET

calquake's avatar

What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/20/14 at 03:17 PM ET

I’ll have a Cosmic Dust martini tarbender.

Posted by calquake on 04/20/14 at 02:19 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Afternoon, bitches, the bar is open.  What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/20/14 at 03:17 PM ET

Ballast Point’s Sculpin IPA and shots of Templeton. Might have overachieved a little bit trying to calm the nerves. God Bless the Easter Bunny.

Posted by SK77 on 04/20/14 at 02:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/20/14 at 02:20 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

pee-air: ” Speeds a big part on their game. How do you plan to take away their speed?”

loosisck: “Oh, I think we’ll need to continue whacking them in the nutsack when the refs aren’t looking. You know, bend ‘em over, make ‘em puke, cheap-shot ‘em from behind when they’re not considering we’d do that. It’s my game.

pee-air: “Thanks, have fun oot there today.”

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/20/14 at 02:20 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Why oh why do I still try to explain all of this to my wonderful wife?

Posted by Rdwings28 on 04/20/14 at 03:18 PM ET

It’s like trying to explain why men like pick-up trucks.

Posted by calquake on 04/20/14 at 02:21 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Great scoring chance already for the Wings with Smitty leading the rush.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/20/14 at 02:21 PM ET

SYF's avatar

What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/20/14 at 03:17 PM ET

The usual pint of Guinness and Jameson’s on ice.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/20/14 at 02:22 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

PP ... make ‘em pay

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/20/14 at 02:23 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com