Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

The “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” Ticket Contest Returns

The playoffs are here and the "Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe" Ticket Contest is back.

This contest is open anytime the NHL plays a playoff game and Pierre McGuire is on TV in the building. Get a sign behind Pierre's head on a TV broadcast saying "Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe" and win two tickets to a Maple Leafs home game of your choice next regular season and two tickets to the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto, Canada.

To ensure you get credit for this incredible public service, email douchecanoe.contest@gmail.com in advance so I can award the tickets to you once successful.  All emails will be strictly confidential, good luck.

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Ready. Set. Vomit…Again

No one understands it. There is not a hockey fan reading this blog right now who can possibly grasp what Wing fans are going through, unless they're Wing fans themselves.

No one else. Not in Montreal or Pittsburgh. Not in Boston or Chicago. Certainly not in Denver and definitely not in St. Louis.

None of them can possibly fathom the rumbly in the tumblies of Wing fans because we've been weened on excellence.  The rest of them have hopes. We have expectations. In St. Louis, they have wishes that they know, for a fact, will definitely be dashed. Today, Wing fans can claim we'd be happy to be competitive.  But, in the backs of our minds, because we know the taste of it, we're thinking about a parade.

No group of fans, other than us, understand the horrific stress that accompanies sustained success. 

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Mini GDT- Boston vs. Detroit Game 1, Round 1

RedMenace is on a long Easter weekend break so you have me for the first two games...


- This is the 8th all-time playoff series between DET and BOS
- Tonight’s game is the 34th all-time playoff meeting between DET and BOS
- DET and BOS haven’t met in the postseason in 57 years (last game: 4/4/57)
- This is DET’s 16th playoff road game at BOS
- DET’s playoff record vs. BOS: 14-19
- DET’s playoff road record at BOS: 6-9
- DET has lost its last 6 playoff road games at BOS
- DET’s last playoff road win at BOS: 3/21/46 (24,865 days ago)
- DET is 3-4 in 7 all-time playoff series vs. BOS
- DET was 3-1 vs. BOS during the 2013-14 regular season
- DET was 1-1 on the road at BOS in 2013-14
- DET’s PP was 1-for-8 (12.5%) vs. BOS in 4 games this season

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Eddie Olczyk On How The Wings Can Beat The Bruins

from Brendan Savage of Mlive,

... when it comes to the Detroit Red Wings experiencing success in the opening round against the Boston Bruins, it might be more about offense, according to NBC Sports analyst Ed Olczyk....

"This is a much younger, quicker team," Olczyk said this week in a national conference call. "I think that's the way that they have to play. They're not going to be a physical team. They've got some guys who can bang around and I'm sure Niklas Kronwall is going to look for one of those big hits along the boards just inside the Bruins' offensive zone.

"But to me that will be a real big key, can the Red Wings manage the puck well enough and can they play a fast game and try to keep it a real quick game? There's no doubt that the Bruins are the team to beat for sure and rightfully so. The Bruins can come in four lines and the size and the depth and the leadership of Patrice Bergeron and Zdeno Chara, but to me is can the Red Wings be able to play that real fast game to maybe get the Bruins on the run a little bit?


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I NOW Consider Damien Cox A Hall of Fame Writer

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Paul pointed it out in a comment over on KK Hockey and it's got me conflicted and a little teary.

But what’s really interesting is that the Wings beat the Bruins three times this year. Henrik Zetterberg might show up partway through the series, but if Gustav Nyqvist keeps scoring (18 goals since Feb. 2) Detroit might have enough scoring. Jimmy Howard against Tuukka Rask is a compelling goalie matchup.

AND THE WINNER IS: Wings in seven


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Guaranteed First Round Locks

As you are aware, Paul is asking for your Round 1 predictions. I was going to leave mine in the comments of this post, but I like a big room.  And I have things to say that you need to read. 

I have predictions. Quality, unbiased, research-driven predictions based on statistics, history, in-depth knowledge of the game and my unbridled love for the commissioner of the NHL.

And I'm going to share them with you right now.

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Babcock Or Julien?

Tocchet joins the list of others picking Boston.  As a matter of fact, I have yet to see anyone pick Detroit.

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Expectation Management

I read a comment from our resident pharmacist this morning, HockeyinHD.  Naturally, HD found an opportunity to profess his genius through the use of powerpoint, above-the-fray logic and shoddy sentence structure.  His point? The Wings will get trounced, but we should be satisfied by the effort it took to even get this far.

While I think HD is a tiny man with serious esteem issues?

I happen to agree.

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You Stink Kronwall

 from Cornelius Hardenbergh oF Stanley Cup of Chower,

Niklas Kronwall is a dumb jerk of a Detroit Red Wing, and he always has been. Known for "Kronwalling," the act of using a lack of prior suspensions to prevent yourself from getting future suspensions despite dirty hits, Niklas Kronwall is the rock that holds the Detroit Red Wings defense together. Unfortunately for Detroit, they'd be better off with another guy named Niklas back there. But the other guy retired. Suckers....

Aside from not hitting and not playing defense, what has Kronwall been up to? Getting himself up to 10th in Defenseman scoring, is what he's done. The top 9 defensemen (in terms of points) all have over 50, and Niklas is sitting at 10th with just 49 (8 goals, 41 assists). This ties him with Daniel Alfredsson for the lead on the Red Wings. Kronwall also sits at 3rd on the team in PIMs, behind only Reilly's Brother and Kyle Quincey.

The Bottom Line is that we'll be seeing quite a bit of this fellow and I wouldn't buy front row seats this round, mainly due to him stinking up the joint.

a bit more...

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Why Sunday Matters

Update, Breaking News...BREAKING...George just posted that Kronwall, DeKeyser and Franzen are all sitting.  Good move, Michael.

Boston's Boston and there's no sense whining about what could have been had the Wings done their job against Carolina. Pittsburgh is weak, soft and ripe for an ass kicking. But they won't be getting it from us and Columbus won't be doing it, either.  

It's Boston and we'll get to them in good time.

But today?

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com


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