Abel to Yzerman
You now have seven choices in the “Fire On Ice Caused The Mass Firing Of The Entire Wing PR Staff, Now’s Your Chance To Replace It” contest. Saginaw John brings us another, and it should definitely be popular with the die hards.
Back on top. The last time Detroit held the title of The Sporting News’ Best Sports City was 1998. 9 years later and legitimate claims to the top teams in three of four major sports, a fan base that sticks by the NFL’s worst team and franchise; all of that was enough to land Detroit back at the head of the class.
Yes, it’s still Hockeytown, same as it was when Detroit was our Best Sports City in 1998. Yet on an unseasonably warm Saturday in April, with the Wings facing the Flames in the playoffs at The Joe, you were as likely to see an old English “D” on a cap in downtown Detroit (the Tigers were playing the White Sox) as you were a winged wheel on a red sweater.
Helene St. James, most likely out of boredom, has created a firestorm. The boards are buzzing. Rumor sites are blasting “Forsberg to Detroit?” headlines…all due to this sentence:
General manager Ken Holland has told Forsberg’s agent, Don Baizley, that the Wings are interested in adding the Swedish superstar to their lineup.
My opinion on this matter is well known by now: he’s not coming here. Not now, not ever. The Wing lineup is sturdy enough. The Cap money is in the bank, collecting interest for March. And there is little doubt in my simple mind that whatever Holland told Baizley (and when) comes with a caveat from Bandwagon Central. And that caveat is this: “whatever the Wings offer, we raise them a dollar.”
But that’s just my opinion. In the interests of offering you as many views…as misguided and pathetic as they may be when they are in contrast to mine…I present to you Floppa-mania.
I told Tommy, our Dive apologist and defender of transvestites, this morning that the key to finding a solution to a particularly troublesome problem is admitting the problem in the first place. It’s just such advice that has hockey fans from all corners seeking me out for guidance. I’m not bragging. Just, you know, keeping it real.
So, you can imagine just how stunned I was this evening to see that, along with Tommy, the Wings are following my sage advice.
Just when you’ve recovered from the last riveting “Wings Scouting Report” Ansar Khan(!) punches you in the face with another one. Today….Nik Kronwall. Check out some of these outlandish statements:
“The hard-luck defenseman has sustained a significant injury in each of his three NHL seasons (he broke his leg in 2004 and tore a knee ligament in 2005).”
“Kronwall will need a new defense partner after Mathieu Schneider signed with Anaheim. He’s never played with Nicklas Lidstrom for any length of time.”
“The Wings have no doubt Kronwall will be an impact player. It’s why they locked him up to a five-year, $15 million contract extension last season. He’s going to be a top-four defenseman in Detroit for years to come.”
Outside the box. Daring. Courageous. Khan(!).
Christy Hammond, founder of Behind The Jersey, has continued her disturbing trend of making the rest of us Wing bloggers look like fire watchers.
Her latest? This.
Probably the best Steve Yzerman resource in existence, and it’s like twenty minutes old.
Another day, another contestant in the “Please, Will Someone For The Love Of Sweet Baby Jesus, Find A Replacement For ‘Fire On Ice’” campaign. John, an A2Y reader from glorious Saginaw, has decided that an elderly roster could very well finally come to be an advantage for the Wings PR Geniuses.
You read between the lines a bit yesterday. You studied Helene St. James’ blog entry, Forsberg to Wings? and you looked for any kind of subtle hint that she actually had a source with an inside track to Floppa’s line of thinking. Most of you have already figured this out, but I’m going to give you a little hint.
The most important line of that entire post was the one at the top, just below the headline: July 29, 2007
In the middle of the summer, with zero Wing news to note, St. James tapped out a few sentences, threw the Holland/Baizley reference in there, and the Free Press generated a couple hundred thousand hits. A few speculative and not particularly earth shattering paragraphs about why the Wings would consider it, all the same discussions you’ve read on every Wing blog and message board, then the only part that matters:
4. Why it won’t happen
First, there is a possibility Forsberg will decide to spend a year playing in Sweden.
Second, there’s the Colorado Avalanche factor. The franchise for which Forsberg played for nine seasons has $44 million committed, which gives them about the same cap space as the Wings. Given the upgrades made in signing Ryan Smyth and Scott Hannan, as well as the steady presence of Joe Sakic, the Avs look like playoff contenders again and surely would be attractive to Forsberg.
Stand by for consistency. I’m keeping up with the Sports Blog of the Week thing. This weekend, I offer you a variety of selections then get down to business with the blog of choice. Found a few interesting ones I liked but haven’t selected for some different reasons.
The “Replace the Pathetic Fire On Ice Marketing Disaster With Something Not Designed By a 6 Year Old” contest is picking up steam. A2Y expatriot TeamDub has returned with a vengeance and a graphic all Detroit fans can relate to.
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com