Abel to Yzerman
The “Replace the Pathetic Fire On Ice Marketing Disaster With Something Not Designed By a 6 Year Old” contest is picking up steam. A2Y expatriot TeamDub has returned with a vengeance and a graphic all Detroit fans can relate to.
Arizona has been heard from. Aaron, an A2Y reader from Phoenix and varsity Photoshop user, has provided us our fourth entry in the “Replace Fire On Ice Because It’s Juvenile, Hastily Designed and Just Plain Sucks” contest. A reminder: whoever the 8 dedicated A2Y readers determine has crafted the best graphic/slogan for the upcoming season will win a fantastic prize and an honor that is almost indescribably unique (their graphic will be prominently displayed on the A2Y front page the entire season).
Aaron’s a smart dude. He knows what causes us pain and has woven it into his graphic and his slogan. Nothing causes a family more stress than #39 be-bopping outside his crease.
I’m not sure how fond I am of the deep diggers just jumping into the summer fray, offering analysis, after months of inactivity. I question the motivation a bit. So, when the Freep’s George Sipple comes out of nowhere and decides to blog a bit about Dustin Penner of all people…I begin to feel clammy and a little scared.
Sure, the Wings could use a 29-goal scorer like Penner (6-foot-4, 243 pounds). But it’s a big commitment to make for a guy that doesn’t always seem to play each shift as if it were his last.
Good point. The Wings are a team who have stood their ground in that regard. I can’t recall a single transaction that included shelling out big bucks for a player who doesn’t bring it every shift.
Oh…Robert Lang. Nevermind.
Our boy Ansar digs even deeper than we thought possible as he provides yet another gripping “Red Wing Scouting Report.” Today, the junior Enigma himself.
An Edmonton scout implored the Oilers to select Jiri Hudler with one of the club’s three second-round picks in the 2002 entry draft. When they went against his wishes, it prompted him to remark, “Now Detroit will probably take him.’‘
He was right. When it comes to skilled Europeans, the Wings are not deterred by size.
Insightful. Perceptive. Original. Khan(!).
Carol Alt used to be a super model. Now she’s an ex-super model whose primary job these days is to serve as spokeswoman for oft mis-understood Alexi Yashin. Clearly, it’s a job she’s taking very seriously, giving significant thought to each idiotic statement she makes. Example?
“I think he needs to go where people understood him and where he’s looked at like a god,” Alt said. “He wants to come back (to the NHL), but I just think he needs to clear his head.”
Yes. An excellent point. Clear the head by finding the one spot on earth where people don’t think you’re the most overrated head case hockey has ever seen. I’m sure consistent adulation will do wonders for him.
Updated 2 minutes after I hit “post”: Almost forgot. Happy birthday to my little doorknob of a brother. If any of you see him on the town today or tonite rub his tummy and buy him a cheap warm one for me.
Tick, tock….tick, tock. Just waiting for the summer to end. Kenny’s done dealing. Jimmy D’s had his annual senility-driven rant and it’s still plenty warm enough in Denver for Thomas and his pals to run the street in mascara and Dique jerseys.
Been sitting here for a few minutes considering what kind of brilliance I can provide you and I’m afraid the tank is shockingly empty. Boredom, in my case, can be a little dangerous. The last time I found myself with nothing to write this happened:
Some Ho’s are, and have been, proud to be Ho’s. And I think it’s time we all reflect on the contributions of Ho’s, and what they’ve meant to our society. If you find that offensive, you need to take a long look in the mirror and asked yourself why you don’t place that kind of value on a Ho, especially one in particular.
That’s right, Don Ho died Saturday. No Ho ever sang tiny bubbles like that Ho did. America lost a Ho yesterday, a big-time Ho.
Hope the “dude” who felt discussing music wasn’t appropriate for a hockey blog is okay with our little contest. Because, really, I’ll cancel it if you’re not happy with the content.
Pete at Yzerman Is God finally got off his ass and provided us a contest entry. Not familiar with the contest? It’s the “Replace the Fire On Ice Red Wing Marketing Campaign With Something That Doesn’t Suck”. Remember now?
Cool. Away we go.
Stop the presses. Khan(!) and I agree, mostly, on the unlikely prospect that our Miracle of Czech Insanity can last an entire season mentally and physically healthy.
But, what are the odds that a guy who turns 43 in January can once again make it through the season healthy? It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he missed some time in the regular season as long as he’s healthy in the playoffs. Once again, the Wings will do what they can to minimize the risk by not overworking him and not playing him on consecutive nights.
What are the odds? Slim.
In case you didn’t know, our Deep Digger Captain has been providing equally shallow “scouting reports” on the Wings for a few weeks now. Here are a few more of his efforts.
July is the perfect time for this. Hockey stories are slim. News is relegated to the Darren Garcias of the world and all we can do is wait for September. But, Phil Randolph has made my day. He's tagged me with one of those top five deals. The topic, I think, is your five favorite songs. Oh, I've got songs brother. I've got opinions and I've got songs, opinions about songs, songs about my opinion of songs. The A2Y top 5: 5. Night Moves. Bob Seger's best and the anthem for every middle aged man who spent his formative, pathetically awkward teenage years in Michigan. 4. Blinded By The Light. Manfred Mann's remake of the Springsteen tune. Every time I listen to it I hear something better about that song. It could very well be the greatest classic rock song of all time. OF ALL TIME (Rocky reference). 3. Tuesday's Gone. Skynyrd's finest and a constant reminder that Ronnie Van Zant died way too young. Speaking of which, if you ever get the chance (and you're a Skynyrd fan), find the song "Brickyard Road" from Ronnie's little brother, Johnny. Great tribute. 2. Little Guitars. Diver Down, in my opinion, is Van Halen's best effort. Every song is great, but this one will always stand out for me. 1. Overplayed, a cliche of a song, and I'm embarrassed that it's in my top fifty much less my top ten. But, "I Want You To Want Me" holds the top spot. Cheap Trick is a horrible reminder of what can go wrong when a good rock band sells out. But that didn't happen until later. Sentimental choice. My wife would kill me if it wasn't my publicly professed number 1. Feel free to list your own top five below if you'd like, and here are the bloggers I'll return the favor to: Acid Queen Peklund Truth Serum Cason DC Sports Chick
Two guys we mentioned here fairly often during the season were the Detroit News’ David Guralnick and John Niyo. Guralnick’s the all-world photographer who made an A2Y name for himself for shooting Tuesday games in January the way most photographers only shoot Game 7’s in May. Niyo is the hungry young understudy to former Digger captain Ted Kulfan. They both hit homeruns today for the feature they’ve written and shot on Chris Chelios’ Malibu torture sessions.
David Guralnick, Detroit News
...but it’s the circuit training—a nonstop, 60-minute succession of exercises that Chelios swears by and others swear at. (The first time ex-teammate Mathieu Schneider tried it, he vomited.) Even in his mid-40s, Chelios still powers through it like “a machine,” Goodman says, adding, “It’s his competitiveness: That’s the reason he’s still willing to do the work that you have to do to sustain yourself.”
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org